["Everyone dying, everyone reminding me that I'm a piece of shit and nobody wants me around..."]
[Shuichi's eyes widen slightly and he raises a hand to his mouth in horror as a memory spoken in own voice floats to the front of his mind, freezing his insides.]
["Momota-kun always has us by his side, see? But no one wants to be around you. You're alone, Oma-kun. And you always will be."]
[And now it's Shuichi's turn to have guilt claw at his insides. The aftermath of that trial had been so painful, he'd spent all his time trying not to think about it. And whenever he DID think about it, it was never those words. It was the way Kokichi had looked as he laughed about Gonta's death, or the way Kaito had spat out his name while refusing to look at him. It was always his own pain, or the pain of the collective group...never the pain that he had almost certainly caused Kokichi.]
[At the time, he hadn't thought anything of it...he'd completely meant what he said and he didn't care how it made Kokichi feel. At that point, he hadn't been sure if Kokichi was even capable of feeling anything other than a perverse sense of malice. But now that he knows the truth, now that he knows just how much Kokichi actually hates being alone...]
[He suddenly understands why Kokichi had trailed off after that...why he'd claimed that they were boring him and left as quickly as possible. Those words had genuinely hurt him...perhaps enough that he couldn't trust himself to keep up his guise of malicious evil.]
Oma-kun, I...I'm sorry. [Has he been holding onto those words this whole time? He must have, if he's come to the conclusion that he, not only will be alone, but deserves to be alone.] You don't deserve to be alone, and I'm s-sorry for saying that you always will be and that nobody wants to be around you. I... I should have realized it sooner, but I didn't even think...
[A lot happened after that trial, even before the three of them wound up here. It's really no surprise that that one conversation slipped his mind. And even if that's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he hadn't spared that conversation a second, retrospective thought...it just feels like an excuse.]
no subject
[Shuichi's eyes widen slightly and he raises a hand to his mouth in horror as a memory spoken in own voice floats to the front of his mind, freezing his insides.]
["Momota-kun always has us by his side, see? But no one wants to be around you. You're alone, Oma-kun. And you always will be."]
[And now it's Shuichi's turn to have guilt claw at his insides. The aftermath of that trial had been so painful, he'd spent all his time trying not to think about it. And whenever he DID think about it, it was never those words. It was the way Kokichi had looked as he laughed about Gonta's death, or the way Kaito had spat out his name while refusing to look at him. It was always his own pain, or the pain of the collective group...never the pain that he had almost certainly caused Kokichi.]
[At the time, he hadn't thought anything of it...he'd completely meant what he said and he didn't care how it made Kokichi feel. At that point, he hadn't been sure if Kokichi was even capable of feeling anything other than a perverse sense of malice. But now that he knows the truth, now that he knows just how much Kokichi actually hates being alone...]
[He suddenly understands why Kokichi had trailed off after that...why he'd claimed that they were boring him and left as quickly as possible. Those words had genuinely hurt him...perhaps enough that he couldn't trust himself to keep up his guise of malicious evil.]
Oma-kun, I...I'm sorry. [Has he been holding onto those words this whole time? He must have, if he's come to the conclusion that he, not only will be alone, but deserves to be alone.] You don't deserve to be alone, and I'm s-sorry for saying that you always will be and that nobody wants to be around you. I... I should have realized it sooner, but I didn't even think...
[A lot happened after that trial, even before the three of them wound up here. It's really no surprise that that one conversation slipped his mind. And even if that's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he hadn't spared that conversation a second, retrospective thought...it just feels like an excuse.]