[This is a lot harder to admit to than he thought, because he knows it was stupid. He knows it was a stupid decision, and knew it even at the time of making it and going through with it. So there's silence on his end, but eventually he unfurls to wrap his free hand around his knees, hugging those to his chest. He keeps the one around Shuichi's though, still squeezing it tight, before finally looking up at the detective.]

I...had a chance to get my gore square out of the way and...took it. It was in the VR, so no actual damage was done, but...

[Chest tightening and face paling again, he takes a breath to try and calm himself down, the memory still extremely unpleasant.]

But...I...had. H-had my limbs chopped off...in a game. A killing game. If I hadn't guessed the right word, it would have killed me. [He laughs, though it's uncomfortable and broken sounding.] It had an audience and everything...I thought it wouldn't be so bad, since it was just me! It's not like I had to kill anyone else, or anyone else's life was even in danger. Aha...did you know things hurt just as bad in the VR? It's really realistic! They aren't kidding with that! Oh but it's nothing like...Iruma-chan's VR. You don't die from the shock. You get to live through the whole thing and remember it afterward~ Great, right?

[It's very clearly not great, and he doesn't actually think it is. He really doesn't.]