[He was confused, at first, as to why Shuichi would be apologizing to him. What could he possibly apologize for? He'd never done anything wrong to him, after all. But then he continues, and the leader's breath hitches, throat closing as he listens. He has to look away from him, arms leaving his legs to clutch at his own shoulders instead, hugging himself tight.
Yes, he has been holding onto those words this whole time.
And he shakes his head immediately when it seems like the detective is done, squeezing his eyes shut again as more tears leak down his cheeks.]
N-no, you-- [A shuddered breath in and out.] You were r-right. You were right. After everything I've done...wh-who could possibly want to be around someone like me? P-people tolerate me at best. For so long I've only ever had D.I.C.E...I-- even... [He bites his lip, then shakes his head again.]
Nobody wants me, a-and now that. That I've not only hurt people but killed them too? Now even they won't...want to be around me. A-and nobody will forgive me. I can't even forgive myself, s-so how could anyone else--our friends, how could they forgive me? How could they want me around? I'm obnoxious at best, I'm crazy, I-I--
[Again he can't make it through what he's saying, once again interrupted by a sob. This time, though, his crying is much louder. Full of despair and pain. This has been something he's dwelled and brooded over for so long, the thing that's made it hard to fully trust Shuichi, something that haunts his nightmares every time he sleeps. He completely believes this is the truth of his situation. The detective had said it with such conviction...he'd meant every word of it. And he'd seen the results afterward, just backing up that statement.
Of course, he had never planned on living through the consequences. A slow, excruciating death, the kind of death someone like him deserves...he would suffer that and that would be the end of it. But now...]
no subject
Yes, he has been holding onto those words this whole time.
And he shakes his head immediately when it seems like the detective is done, squeezing his eyes shut again as more tears leak down his cheeks.]
N-no, you-- [A shuddered breath in and out.] You were r-right. You were right. After everything I've done...wh-who could possibly want to be around someone like me? P-people tolerate me at best. For so long I've only ever had D.I.C.E...I-- even... [He bites his lip, then shakes his head again.]
Nobody wants me, a-and now that. That I've not only hurt people but killed them too? Now even they won't...want to be around me. A-and nobody will forgive me. I can't even forgive myself, s-so how could anyone else--our friends, how could they forgive me? How could they want me around? I'm obnoxious at best, I'm crazy, I-I--
[Again he can't make it through what he's saying, once again interrupted by a sob. This time, though, his crying is much louder. Full of despair and pain. This has been something he's dwelled and brooded over for so long, the thing that's made it hard to fully trust Shuichi, something that haunts his nightmares every time he sleeps. He completely believes this is the truth of his situation. The detective had said it with such conviction...he'd meant every word of it. And he'd seen the results afterward, just backing up that statement.
Of course, he had never planned on living through the consequences. A slow, excruciating death, the kind of death someone like him deserves...he would suffer that and that would be the end of it. But now...]