[Okay but...in fairness, Kokichi was purposefully trying to get Shuichi and the others to be mad at him and hate him before he died. And it worked, obviously. But then he died and between Kaito and Tsumugi, a lot of facts came to light. Facts that painted a different truth and changed Shuichi's opinion.]
[But even so...for a brief moment as Kokichi stands back up, an image flashes unbidden through Shuichi's mind. Because while not exactly the same, this situation is horribly similar to the end of one trial in particular. And for that brief moment, he fears that he was wrong. That Kokichi wasn't being genuine. That once he stands up completely, Shuichi would once again be staring into the eyes of a being of pure, unfettered malice. That he'd hear that old, familiar taunt It's a lie!]
[But he isn't and he doesn't. When Kokichi stands up he's...still Kokichi. Though with an expression of genuine weakness that's every bit as unexpected and strange as the apology that preceded it. But it only makes him all the more certain that he was right. That, for once, this isn't a lie. It's the truth.]
It's true that I'm not happy about some of-- Most of [May as well not beat around the bush here.] the things you did to stop the killing game. But that doesn't mean I want to pretend you don't exist. And I don't think that's really what you want either, or else you wouldn't be apologizing to me right now. Because if I ignore you or pretend you don't exist, then that means ignoring all your actions as well. You may not want or expect forgiveness, but I'm pretty sure you do want acknowledgement of both your actions and your apology.
[A beat.]
Though maybe I'm wrong. It's hard to know for sure what you want or what you're thinking, most of the time. But that's another topic completely...
[He closes his eyes and inhales through his nose again, clearly trying to figure out where to go next. He kind of derailed himself there a little bit, oops.]
I know it's pointless to bring it up now, but I wish...you had cooperated with us normally, even if that's not how a Supreme Leader prefers to do things. But I think some of the blame for that should fall on the rest of us as well. [Sure, Kokichi never really gave any of them a reason to like him but...he wasn't the only one. Thinking back on it now, if Kaito had done for Kokichi what he'd done for Maki...hell, if anyone had done that...would things have gone differently? If he, Maki, and Himiko were capable of changing, why not Kokichi too? Kaito had once told Himiko that the reason she was different than Kokichi was because she wanted to change and he didn't, but...maybe that was an unfair assumption on his part. On all their parts.] I know it's probably just going to annoy you to hear me say something this cliche but...I don't hate you. I hate what you did, and I despise the game that pushed you-- pushed all of us, really-- into doing things we normally wouldn't dream of in order to survive.
That doesn't excuse the things you're apologizing for, nor does it make them acceptable, but...it does make them possible to forgive and your apology possible to accept.
[Possible. There's an important caveat there that he's presumably going to elaborate on in a minute, but first he seems to be giving Kokichi a chance to let all that sink in and comment on it if he wants.]
no subject
[But even so...for a brief moment as Kokichi stands back up, an image flashes unbidden through Shuichi's mind. Because while not exactly the same, this situation is horribly similar to the end of one trial in particular. And for that brief moment, he fears that he was wrong. That Kokichi wasn't being genuine. That once he stands up completely, Shuichi would once again be staring into the eyes of a being of pure, unfettered malice. That he'd hear that old, familiar taunt It's a lie!]
[But he isn't and he doesn't. When Kokichi stands up he's...still Kokichi. Though with an expression of genuine weakness that's every bit as unexpected and strange as the apology that preceded it. But it only makes him all the more certain that he was right. That, for once, this isn't a lie. It's the truth.]
It's true that I'm not happy about some of-- Most of [May as well not beat around the bush here.] the things you did to stop the killing game. But that doesn't mean I want to pretend you don't exist. And I don't think that's really what you want either, or else you wouldn't be apologizing to me right now. Because if I ignore you or pretend you don't exist, then that means ignoring all your actions as well. You may not want or expect forgiveness, but I'm pretty sure you do want acknowledgement of both your actions and your apology.
[A beat.]
Though maybe I'm wrong. It's hard to know for sure what you want or what you're thinking, most of the time. But that's another topic completely...
[He closes his eyes and inhales through his nose again, clearly trying to figure out where to go next. He kind of derailed himself there a little bit, oops.]
I know it's pointless to bring it up now, but I wish...you had cooperated with us normally, even if that's not how a Supreme Leader prefers to do things. But I think some of the blame for that should fall on the rest of us as well. [Sure, Kokichi never really gave any of them a reason to like him but...he wasn't the only one. Thinking back on it now, if Kaito had done for Kokichi what he'd done for Maki...hell, if anyone had done that...would things have gone differently? If he, Maki, and Himiko were capable of changing, why not Kokichi too? Kaito had once told Himiko that the reason she was different than Kokichi was because she wanted to change and he didn't, but...maybe that was an unfair assumption on his part. On all their parts.] I know it's probably just going to annoy you to hear me say something this cliche but...I don't hate you. I hate what you did, and I despise the game that pushed you-- pushed all of us, really-- into doing things we normally wouldn't dream of in order to survive.
That doesn't excuse the things you're apologizing for, nor does it make them acceptable, but...it does make them possible to forgive and your apology possible to accept.
[Possible. There's an important caveat there that he's presumably going to elaborate on in a minute, but first he seems to be giving Kokichi a chance to let all that sink in and comment on it if he wants.]