[Wow, hey, so that wall over there is super interesting. He's just going to look at that for a minute. What gross, embarrassing face? He's pretty sure he's never seen that sort of expression on Kokichi's face ever before.]
Hm? Oh...no. I was going to try looking for a job again after this, but that can wait.
[Since that is apparently a lot more difficult than he thought it was going to be. Leave now, leave in an hour...it doesn't really make a difference.]
Besides, you said you wanted to tell me about things you discovered about this place, right? I'm assuming it's the kind of information that's better said in person than over text.
[So help him, if you're trolling him and you're just going to start teasing him about sexy things though, he's leaving.]
It...is, yes. [Definitely better said in person. He clears it off some, tossing the blanket and pillow into a corner of the couch before claiming that corner for himself, so Shuichi would have plenty of room to sit. Once he sits down, Kokichi just launches right into it.
Time to start bottling all these icky feelings back up before they really overflow.]
So...our first conversation, you were puzzling over something. It was about whether or not we're actually dead, wasn't it?
[Definitely not trolling to talk about sexy stuff.]
[He really wants to ask about the pillows and blankets. Did Kokichi make a friend already and have a sleepover? That has to be it, right? Because why would you sleep on a couch when a bed is an option?]
[But, ultimately that's not important so once he sits down and Kokichi just jumps right into the conversation, he doesn't bother asking.]
...ah. [There we go, there's the Kokichi he knows. Eerily correct about things he shouldn't know about. Yup.] It was, yes. I didn't want to say anything at the time, given the circumstances but...there were a few things that seemed...off.
Why they're promising us a ticket home if we're all dead and why there's a lack of consequence for non-participation?
[Yeah, those were bugging him too. He runs a hand through his hair with a sigh.]
I just wrote those off since...well, there was no way Akamatsu-chan and I didn't die. We both saw her execution, and even if I didn't end up...crushed - [It's said with a little difficulty, but he pushes himself past it.] - I was still fatally poisoned. There's no way I would have lasted as long as I had at that point.
[It was amazing he'd lasted long enough to make Kaito the blackened instead of Maki.]
But they bothered me too. Recently I spoke with someone who said time works differently here, and that...it's possible we were taken before the point of our death.
Mmmhm. [He nods. Unsurprisingly, Kokichi has it exactly right. That's what was bothering him. It's STILL bothering him, to be honest. It just...doesn't add up.]
[Shuichi frowns.]
Well that would explain...the other thing that was bothering me. [the part where he couldn't actually remember dying.] But that doesn't make sense. It's like you said, we both saw what happened to Akamatsu-san. And I saw...well, there was no way you weren't crushed.
[So...so much blood. He never saw the body and, honestly, he's glad he didn't but...there's no doubt that there was a body in there.]
I mean...I suppose it's possible there was a switch at the last second but...how would they have gotten to you without Momota-kun noticing? And Akamatsu-san would have been even more difficult, since there were more of us watching.
As far as witnessing the deaths, time apparently works weird here. The person I spoke with said that two of her friends arrived here with different memories from her, but swore that she hadn't been missing from those memories, despite her having been here for six months. Meaning if they hadn't noticed she was gone, then...somehow it's possible. Even if, from our perspectives, it wouldn't seem that way.
[He leans forward a little, pulling his legs up to cross them on the couch.]
How...I don't know. But with how futuristic everything is, who knows what they're capable of. They're...clearly capable of healing whatever damage our body has endured, if they really pulled us from before our deaths.
[Because he remembers a lot of his own. Not the point of, but......there was plenty of time leading up to it, even though he didn't have to wait the full amount of time for the press to drop. Aside from the poison, they'd have plenty to fix up.]
So I think we should consider the possibility that we aren't dead yet. I don't know what would happen if we bought these tickets back...but here, at least, on this station we could be alive.
[Shuichi sighs and rubs at his temple. Time bullshit. This is like...some theoretical physics stuff that he's not sure he even wants to touch. Maybe this particular mystery can go unsolved.]
Yeah...I haven't spoken with anyone about it yet, but I've been looking for evidence to support or disprove that possibility. So far I haven't found anything concrete in favor of either theory. But if they really do have technology capable of warping time like that...I'd say it's more likely that we are alive here, not just that we could be.
I mean...don't you think it's odd that dead people still need to eat and sleep? And that the afterlife has an economic system? Not to mention the fact that none of our friends are here, even though we saw all of them die as well?
I'll give you one and three, but they do say that humans need things like a reward system to give them meaning. I don't know if it'd be that unbelievable for there to be economics in the afterlife. But then again that doesn't really matter in the end. And yeah, I was really curious when I didn't see anyone else listed...
[He wanted to apologize to everyone, not just Shuichi, so he'd looked pretty early on.]
...I don't know if it's really worth investigating though. We could be alive, but like I said...what does that mean if we go back? I don't know about you, but I'm not really keen on returning just to die in the end. That's probably cowardly, but I don't care.
[Leaning back against his pillow, he sighs as well, rubbing at his neck a little.]
Wasn't even sure if I wanted to bring it up with you...but since it was obviously bugging you, I figured I may as well.
No, I'm glad you told me, Oma-kun. Even if I'm not really sure what to think of this information...I'd rather know it than not.
[He knows it doesn't really matter either way...whether they're dead or not, the result is more or less the same. Either they can't go back, or there's no real point in going back.]
But if it is cowardly, then I guess that makes us both cowards. I was ready to die but...I'm glad that I'm not. [So he's also pretty sure he doesn't want to go back. What's the point? The end result of the killing game is the same, regardless of whether he's here and alive or there and dead. Either way, the audience tuned out and Danganronpa is over. And according to Tsumugi, none of them have anywhere to go anyway.]
[Which...he's still not totally sure he buys as the truth. But why take the chance when they can just stay here? He's upset that apparently only he was spared, but...Maki, Himiko, and Keebo wouldn't want him to just go back and die would they? No, surely they'd want him to take the chance he'd been given and keep living...]
[Kaito definitely would. Kaito would probably hit him for even considering going back and dying just for it to be "fair".]
[He watches Shuichi after he's done talking, just quietly contemplating.]
...I'm...glad you feel the same way. I wouldn't want to have to watch you go back just to throw your life away, Saihara-chan.
[His voice is quiet and honest. Very earnest. He means it...even if Shuichi had chosen not to accept his apology. He wouldn't be able to take it. But that brings up something else...]
...Akamatsu-chan...I don't know if she'd be that cowardly.
[This was the other reason why he wasn't sure he wanted to share this information. If it got back to her that they could possibly be alive and both of the boys believed that...]
No, she wouldn't... [He shifts in his seat, slightly uncomfortable. Because Kokichi is 100% right, Kaede isn't a coward. She never gives up. That's why it was kind of a good thing she wasn't at the final trial. If she had been...the game just would have kept going. That hopeful, never give up attitude is what kept it going as long as it did.]
[If they told her it's likely they're not dead...she'd want to try and save everyone else, wouldn't she? Even if there was only a slim chance it would work. Shuichi sighs.]
Even if we don't...she's bound to hear it from someone else eventually, don't you think? There are too many people here to hide something like that from her forever. And if she found out that we even tried to hide it from her...
[She'd be really upset. With him, especially. At least you expect shit like this from Kokichi.]
...she might not be willing to listen to anything we have to say, after that.
[She wouldn't care about their reasons or an explanation. She might just leave immediately, and they wouldn't be able to talk her out of it...]
But if we tell her, she'll definitely try to go home. To "save" everyone. She was already planning that when I talked to her before you showed up.
[He levels a serious expression at Shuichi, sitting up again.]
Even when I explained that we were dead, she didn't seem convinced. The only thing that stopped her from really pushing the point I think was that I mentioned you were still fighting. But you failed to grant her wish...I think she'd try and go back, no matter what we said. She's too set on that stupid wish of hers.
[Because she's selfish, like he told you.]
It shouldn't be hard to convince her that anyone saying they aren't dead yet is just...not willing to accept it. And it'd be polite to let these people dream that they're still alive, because some people can't handle that kind of truth.
[Just convince her that they're lying to themselves. He's sure he can do it, because he lies to himself all the time.]
And if you're worried about her trust in you, then I'll lie to her myself. I'm used to it, and I can handle it if she stops trusting what I say. But I don't want her going back either...
[Wait, shouldn't he be worried about lying to her? Not just what the aftermath of said lie could be?]
Hold on...why aren't you complaining about how we should be honest and truthful? You can't seriously just...be okay with hiding it from her, except that she could find out...
[A lot can change in the span of one day, Kokichi. A lot can change. Shuichi's learned a lot of things about lying in that short stretch of time. Things that have changed his opinion on it.]
[Plus, he's been lying by omission to both of you since day one. It's hard for him to be upset by this suggestion when he's already hiding the truth about Team Danganronpa.]
[Shuichi sighs through his nose and closes his eyes.]
In this case...the truth would do more harm than good. I don't want to lie to her, but want to see her die again even less. [Seriously, once was enough.] So if those are my choices...
[He'll go for the lie. It's in her better interest. Turns out, Kokichi was right all along. Sometimes, it's okay to lie. Better to lie, even.]
Still, I don't think we should completely rule out the possibility of telling her ourselves. Not today, or even any time soon, but...eventually, perhaps. There's still a lot we don't know right now, after all...
[And that means there's lots for them to learn. maybe something will come to light that will make it less dangerous to let Kaede know the truth.]
[...out of telling her the truth and telling a lie, even if that truth is painful, he's choosing to lie. This weirds him out. But...at the same time...
He ducks his head a little with a noncommittal sound, doing his best to hide the heat in his cheeks he can feel. He knows they're pink!]
I'm not saying we can never, ever tell her. Right now it would just be a seriously bad idea, you know? She'd arm her proverbial weapons and go running off to try and save everyone, no matter what we said or how we felt...but if we learn something that changes things, or maybe after she moves past that or matures a little...
[Then maybe they can tell her. Maybe it would be safe.]
[Luckily for Kokichi, Shuichi still had his eyes closed and missed seeing the color rise in Kokichi's cheeks. Though once he opens them again, he's a little confused about why the other boy has his head ducked down like that. Okay, then...]
Mm. For now th-- [He jumps a little at being suddenly cut off with an accusation.] A-ah...I wasn't going to...
[He gets the distinction Kokichi was trying to make, though he wouldn't use the word "immature" to describe Kaede. But...it's still weird to hear Kokichi of all people describe someone else as immature. Even if it's two different types of immaturity.]
[He knows that, which is why he had to make sure your brain wasn't sitting there making comments about him!!!
With that out of the way he sits back, relaxing a little again.]
So yeah, like you were saying, for now we should keep quiet and just keep investigating. I'll still handle the actual lying part if you want me to, if she hears about it from someone else. You can say you haven't heard anything so you wouldn't know.
I'd be lying either way. [Since...saying he hasn't heard anything would ALSO be a lie.] So if it comes to that, I'm not going to make you "handle the actual lying part" on your own.
[Sure, he doesn't want Kaede to be mad at him but...feigning ignorance like that and letting Kokichi take all the heat would just be really shitty.]
[Especially since, again, it's not like he isn't already neck deep in a lie to both Kaede AND Kokichi.]
[Kokichi raises a brow and tilts his head a little, curiously.]
You sure? I'm used to the backlash from being caught, you know. And if she was upset with me it wouldn't be that big of a deal. You though...
[Sitting forward, he fixes him with a more serious look.]
You and Akamatsu-chan need each other, in a place like this. You shouldn't do anything to potentially screw that up. So seriously, don't be afraid to ask, if it comes to that. Seriously give it some thought.
[He's fine on his own...he's already got a square filled and some cash in his pocket. Would Kaede and Shuichi be willing to have sex with strangers to pay for themselves? Not that he wouldn't help if they needed it, of course, but...he'd only be able to provide credits. No way either of them would want to fill squares with him.]
[Shuichi quirks a brow a little suspiciously. Needing each other in "a place like this" can only mean one thing... No, he should just leave that alone.]
I'm not going to change my mind. Even if you enjoy lying and you're used to the consequences, even if it gets me in trouble with Akamatsu-san... I'm making the decision too, and I'll see it through, wherever it goes.
[Tucking his hands under his thighs, he tilts his head the other way, thinking that kind of reply over. He seems a little caught off guard or surprised by it, almost.]
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diffidentive) wrote2017-11-13 11:58 am
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[Wow, hey, so that wall over there is super interesting. He's just going to look at that for a minute. What gross, embarrassing face? He's pretty sure he's never seen that sort of expression on Kokichi's face ever before.]
Hm? Oh...no. I was going to try looking for a job again after this, but that can wait.
[Since that is apparently a lot more difficult than he thought it was going to be. Leave now, leave in an hour...it doesn't really make a difference.]
Besides, you said you wanted to tell me about things you discovered about this place, right? I'm assuming it's the kind of information that's better said in person than over text.
[So help him, if you're trolling him and you're just going to start teasing him about sexy things though, he's leaving.]
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Time to start bottling all these icky feelings back up before they really overflow.]
So...our first conversation, you were puzzling over something. It was about whether or not we're actually dead, wasn't it?
[Definitely not trolling to talk about sexy stuff.]
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[But, ultimately that's not important so once he sits down and Kokichi just jumps right into the conversation, he doesn't bother asking.]
...ah. [There we go, there's the Kokichi he knows. Eerily correct about things he shouldn't know about. Yup.] It was, yes. I didn't want to say anything at the time, given the circumstances but...there were a few things that seemed...off.
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[Yeah, those were bugging him too. He runs a hand through his hair with a sigh.]
I just wrote those off since...well, there was no way Akamatsu-chan and I didn't die. We both saw her execution, and even if I didn't end up...crushed - [It's said with a little difficulty, but he pushes himself past it.] - I was still fatally poisoned. There's no way I would have lasted as long as I had at that point.
[It was amazing he'd lasted long enough to make Kaito the blackened instead of Maki.]
But they bothered me too. Recently I spoke with someone who said time works differently here, and that...it's possible we were taken before the point of our death.
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[Shuichi frowns.]
Well that would explain...the other thing that was bothering me. [the part where he couldn't actually remember dying.] But that doesn't make sense. It's like you said, we both saw what happened to Akamatsu-san. And I saw...well, there was no way you weren't crushed.
[So...so much blood. He never saw the body and, honestly, he's glad he didn't but...there's no doubt that there was a body in there.]
I mean...I suppose it's possible there was a switch at the last second but...how would they have gotten to you without Momota-kun noticing? And Akamatsu-san would have been even more difficult, since there were more of us watching.
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[He leans forward a little, pulling his legs up to cross them on the couch.]
How...I don't know. But with how futuristic everything is, who knows what they're capable of. They're...clearly capable of healing whatever damage our body has endured, if they really pulled us from before our deaths.
[Because he remembers a lot of his own. Not the point of, but......there was plenty of time leading up to it, even though he didn't have to wait the full amount of time for the press to drop. Aside from the poison, they'd have plenty to fix up.]
So I think we should consider the possibility that we aren't dead yet. I don't know what would happen if we bought these tickets back...but here, at least, on this station we could be alive.
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Yeah...I haven't spoken with anyone about it yet, but I've been looking for evidence to support or disprove that possibility. So far I haven't found anything concrete in favor of either theory. But if they really do have technology capable of warping time like that...I'd say it's more likely that we are alive here, not just that we could be.
I mean...don't you think it's odd that dead people still need to eat and sleep? And that the afterlife has an economic system? Not to mention the fact that none of our friends are here, even though we saw all of them die as well?
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[He wanted to apologize to everyone, not just Shuichi, so he'd looked pretty early on.]
...I don't know if it's really worth investigating though. We could be alive, but like I said...what does that mean if we go back? I don't know about you, but I'm not really keen on returning just to die in the end. That's probably cowardly, but I don't care.
[Leaning back against his pillow, he sighs as well, rubbing at his neck a little.]
Wasn't even sure if I wanted to bring it up with you...but since it was obviously bugging you, I figured I may as well.
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[He knows it doesn't really matter either way...whether they're dead or not, the result is more or less the same. Either they can't go back, or there's no real point in going back.]
But if it is cowardly, then I guess that makes us both cowards. I was ready to die but...I'm glad that I'm not. [So he's also pretty sure he doesn't want to go back. What's the point? The end result of the killing game is the same, regardless of whether he's here and alive or there and dead. Either way, the audience tuned out and Danganronpa is over. And according to Tsumugi, none of them have anywhere to go anyway.]
[Which...he's still not totally sure he buys as the truth. But why take the chance when they can just stay here? He's upset that apparently only he was spared, but...Maki, Himiko, and Keebo wouldn't want him to just go back and die would they? No, surely they'd want him to take the chance he'd been given and keep living...]
[Kaito definitely would. Kaito would probably hit him for even considering going back and dying just for it to be "fair".]
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...I'm...glad you feel the same way. I wouldn't want to have to watch you go back just to throw your life away, Saihara-chan.
[His voice is quiet and honest. Very earnest. He means it...even if Shuichi had chosen not to accept his apology. He wouldn't be able to take it. But that brings up something else...]
...Akamatsu-chan...I don't know if she'd be that cowardly.
[This was the other reason why he wasn't sure he wanted to share this information. If it got back to her that they could possibly be alive and both of the boys believed that...]
I don't think we should tell her.
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[If they told her it's likely they're not dead...she'd want to try and save everyone else, wouldn't she? Even if there was only a slim chance it would work. Shuichi sighs.]
Even if we don't...she's bound to hear it from someone else eventually, don't you think? There are too many people here to hide something like that from her forever. And if she found out that we even tried to hide it from her...
[She'd be really upset. With him, especially. At least you expect shit like this from Kokichi.]
...she might not be willing to listen to anything we have to say, after that.
[She wouldn't care about their reasons or an explanation. She might just leave immediately, and they wouldn't be able to talk her out of it...]
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[He levels a serious expression at Shuichi, sitting up again.]
Even when I explained that we were dead, she didn't seem convinced. The only thing that stopped her from really pushing the point I think was that I mentioned you were still fighting. But you failed to grant her wish...I think she'd try and go back, no matter what we said. She's too set on that stupid wish of hers.
[Because she's selfish, like he told you.]
It shouldn't be hard to convince her that anyone saying they aren't dead yet is just...not willing to accept it. And it'd be polite to let these people dream that they're still alive, because some people can't handle that kind of truth.
[Just convince her that they're lying to themselves. He's sure he can do it, because he lies to himself all the time.]
And if you're worried about her trust in you, then I'll lie to her myself. I'm used to it, and I can handle it if she stops trusting what I say. But I don't want her going back either...
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Hold on...why aren't you complaining about how we should be honest and truthful? You can't seriously just...be okay with hiding it from her, except that she could find out...
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[Plus, he's been lying by omission to both of you since day one. It's hard for him to be upset by this suggestion when he's already hiding the truth about Team Danganronpa.]
[Shuichi sighs through his nose and closes his eyes.]
In this case...the truth would do more harm than good. I don't want to lie to her, but want to see her die again even less. [Seriously, once was enough.] So if those are my choices...
[He'll go for the lie. It's in her better interest. Turns out, Kokichi was right all along. Sometimes, it's okay to lie. Better to lie, even.]
Still, I don't think we should completely rule out the possibility of telling her ourselves. Not today, or even any time soon, but...eventually, perhaps. There's still a lot we don't know right now, after all...
[And that means there's lots for them to learn. maybe something will come to light that will make it less dangerous to let Kaede know the truth.]
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He ducks his head a little with a noncommittal sound, doing his best to hide the heat in his cheeks he can feel. He knows they're pink!]
I'm not saying we can never, ever tell her. Right now it would just be a seriously bad idea, you know? She'd arm her proverbial weapons and go running off to try and save everyone, no matter what we said or how we felt...but if we learn something that changes things, or maybe after she moves past that or matures a little...
[Then maybe they can tell her. Maybe it would be safe.]
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No comment on how I'm pretty immature and don't have room to talk. This is a totally different kind of maturity I'm talking about here.
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Mm. For now th-- [He jumps a little at being suddenly cut off with an accusation.] A-ah...I wasn't going to...
[He was definitely thinking it, though.]
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[He means that!!]
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[He gets the distinction Kokichi was trying to make, though he wouldn't use the word "immature" to describe Kaede. But...it's still weird to hear Kokichi of all people describe someone else as immature. Even if it's two different types of immaturity.]
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[He knows that, which is why he had to make sure your brain wasn't sitting there making comments about him!!!
With that out of the way he sits back, relaxing a little again.]
So yeah, like you were saying, for now we should keep quiet and just keep investigating. I'll still handle the actual lying part if you want me to, if she hears about it from someone else. You can say you haven't heard anything so you wouldn't know.
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I'd be lying either way. [Since...saying he hasn't heard anything would ALSO be a lie.] So if it comes to that, I'm not going to make you "handle the actual lying part" on your own.
[Sure, he doesn't want Kaede to be mad at him but...feigning ignorance like that and letting Kokichi take all the heat would just be really shitty.]
[Especially since, again, it's not like he isn't already neck deep in a lie to both Kaede AND Kokichi.]
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You sure? I'm used to the backlash from being caught, you know. And if she was upset with me it wouldn't be that big of a deal. You though...
[Sitting forward, he fixes him with a more serious look.]
You and Akamatsu-chan need each other, in a place like this. You shouldn't do anything to potentially screw that up. So seriously, don't be afraid to ask, if it comes to that. Seriously give it some thought.
[He's fine on his own...he's already got a square filled and some cash in his pocket. Would Kaede and Shuichi be willing to have sex with strangers to pay for themselves? Not that he wouldn't help if they needed it, of course, but...he'd only be able to provide credits. No way either of them would want to fill squares with him.]
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I'm not going to change my mind. Even if you enjoy lying and you're used to the consequences, even if it gets me in trouble with Akamatsu-san... I'm making the decision too, and I'll see it through, wherever it goes.
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[Tucking his hands under his thighs, he tilts his head the other way, thinking that kind of reply over. He seems a little caught off guard or surprised by it, almost.]
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