Aha, both! Then again, I guess it would have been impossible to have a party thrown for me, seeing as we weren't really friends when I lost my virginity.
[From his perspective, anyway. Suddenly he leans forward, only a tiny bit of a wobble as he does so, and puts as much energy as he can muster into an excited reaction.]
And we're not, but that's what I mean! Wouldn't it be cool if we were? Though it's not like you have a bro either, right? So you're missing out on the party! I'd even be willing to keep it low energy and low key for you, since I know you're definitely not the go out and drink type of guy. Maybe just order us a couple escorts for the night and we can stay in instead!
[You know, Kaito? Purple hair? Wears house slippers all the time? Has a dumb little goatee? Even if he's not here right now, he's still Shuichi's bro. Their brotherly bond transcends universes and also life and death.]
But even if he was, I still wouldn't share what Akamatsu-san and I did, and I wouldn't want a party like that. It just seems a little...disrespectful.
[To Kaede, presumably. Apparently, for as tight a bond as he and Kaito share, Shuichi does not acknowledge the "bros before hoes" clause of the bro code.]
But if you really want a part of your own, then...I guess we could go do something for that. Nothing involving escorts, though.
[He's pretty sure that was supposed to be a joke, but still.]
[He sits back up, yawning a long moment before continuing. Sorry...he's tired.]
You're celebrating becoming a man! Or...something. Also not here means you don't have a bro, y'know? But I guess it'd be pretty impossible for me to compare to Momota-chan, so I won't bother trying, don't worry.
[He was hoping you wouldn't bring him up too. You're ruining all of his hopes and dreams here, Shuichi. Every time he has one for this conversation, you dash it!]
The escort thing was a lie~ I don't even know where to get one here! Well, that's a lie too, I know a few establishments. Maybe we can find a host club to visit instead~
[Shuichi is silent for a few moments, just staring at Kokichi with a look of concern.]
You're you and Momota-kun is Momota-kun. It's not that you can't compare to him, rather the bond I have with him and the one I have with you are two completely different things.
[I'm sorry, were you trying to keep this conversation light and silly? Guess that's yet another hope and/or dream dashed because Shuichi has more serious intentions in mind.]
I wouldn't want you to try and be Momota-kun instead of being yourself.
[Kokichi, in turn, is quiet following that, smile falling just a little. But it's only a moment that this lasts before he laughs again.]
You make it surprisingly difficult to keep a light mood going, did you know that? [His tone is still light and cheery, not really matching what he's saying at all.]
Self-depreciation is a classic way to lift the mood between two people who are merely friends~ It lets you either commiserate with the person making the comment, or agree with the joke and everyone has a good laugh. I don't think you're supposed to try and correct it like that, Saihara-chan!
[Come on now, just let it slide. That's how it works.]
I wouldn't want to be him anyway, but since you've decided to turn this in a more serious direction instead, you at least have to agree that you'll always be closer with him, right? Because he's got charisma and a magnetic personality, but I'm just tiring and annoying~ That's what I was getting at. In that way, we are comparable, don't you think?
[Nope. Not letting it slide. You're talking to a nobleman of self-depreciation, Kokichi. He knows that line right there is a load of crap.]
Yes, Momota-kun will always be my best friend, no matter what. But that doesn't mean you and I can't become just as close. Especially since...one of you is here, and the other one isn't. [And you can't become closer to someone who isn't here. Kaito will always be his best friend and hold a special place in his heart but...Kokichi has opportunities here and now that Kaito doesn't, and never will, have. There may be a pretty big gap in their closeness levels at the moment, but it doesn't have to stay that way.]
And... [Shuichi pauses and frowns slightly to himself. Does he really want to admit this? It was something he'd decided not to tell Kokichi, back when they spent time together in the days of the student council's reign. And then something he'd stopped thinking completely, after Kokichi had gone off the deep end. But now that they're friends again...] You can be just as charismatic as Momota-kun, in your own unconventional way. Just like he can be annoying in his own ways. He's my best friend, and I think highly of him, but... do you really think it's easy for someone like me to keep up with him? You're both tiring, but...it's not a bad thing. At least, I don't think it is.
Just as...? [There's a quiet, hopeful tone to his voice as he repeats those two words, probably belaying how he's felt about the two of them this whole time, or confirming what his previous statement implied. The fact that he felt he and Shuichi would probably never get terribly close.
But the detective just implied - no, outright stated - that he could be a best friend too. That he could grow just as close to him as Kaito...and then Shuichi continues, telling him that he thinks he's charismatic too, in his own way! The leader has to glance away, stare at the oh so interesting floor, while he tries to find a way to change the conversation. Or at least steer it away from himself.]
W-well...honestly, I can't see you keeping up with a plastic bag being blown around in the wind, Saihara-chan~ So it's not like I doubted he could be annoying and tiring, or anything!
[Yup, there it is. Confirmation of his suspicions. That wasn't just self-depreciation, Kokichi was genuinely concerned that the two of them could never be close friends. It's weird...he's never really been 100% sure how Kokichi regarded him. Even before shit hit the fan, when Shuichi considered him to be a friend, he couldn't be sure if the leader felt the same way.]
[Maybe he's reading too much into it, but it almost seems like...Kokichi valued their friendship more than he did.]
[It's weird though... Even though Shuichi accepted his apology and has been doing what he can to try and repair their friendship, it's like something's been holding the other boy back the whole time. Like, for once, Kokichi doesn't fully believe Shuichi. And he's not really sure why that is.]
[He smiles softly in confirmation, hoping that this time Kokichi actually believes it. Because he really can't put it much more plainly than this.]
A-ah... [He can't even offer a rebuttal to that comment, honestly. It's a fair assessment, even Shuichi has to admit it.] Well, as long as you understand...you just made it sound like I can't see anything negative about him or see anything positive about you. And that's not the case at all.
[He most certainly always thought of Shuichi as his friend, even when it seemed like he didn't. And he valued that friendship a great deal. He still does, despite how careful and cautious he's being about it. It likely means more to him than Shuichi will probably ever know...
It's not really that he doesn't believe the detective though, but more that...he's scared of making a mistake. Out of everyone who hated him by the end of his time in the killing game, it was Shuichi who drew a clear, crisp line between himself and the leader. They were all obvious in how much they didn't like him, but none of the others made it quite as obvious that he'd ruined his chances of being even part of their group and that there'd be no going back like he did.
So now it's hard...despite the fact that Shuichi accepted his apology and obviously doesn't hate him anymore, it's hard to fully trust that just yet. Even now, when it's stated so plainly...there's a part of him that finds it hard to accept that as fact still.
Which is why he smiles and laughs it off again.]
That's true, it does sound like that doesn't it? I guess it's not very fair of me to assume things like that. But it's pretty easy to think that way for me, you know? I'm a liar, after all~ Even when people around me do and say worse things, opinions of me still tend to be lower. And then you have- [Kokichi stops and goes quiet, brows furrowing a little as he gives what he was about to say a little more thought. And then he shakes his head.]
Ah, no, I shouldn't say that. I've already said enough, and it doesn't really matter anyway, right? I just shouldn't assume things like that. So I'm sorry I did, Saihara-chan~
[While it's said with a sort of carefree tone of voice, he does still give him a slight bow in apology.]
[Look...he was really mad when he said that, okay? Mad and sad and Kokichi just kept pushing all the right buttons with his dumb evil schtick. He snapped, it happens to the best of us. And, well, honestly he has no idea just how much that comment impacted the other boy. He hasn't thought back on it retrospectively, knowing what he knows now, so it's kind of like he forgot he ever said it. Oops.]
[Shuichi's brows raise slightly in curiosity. Then you have...what? It's weird for Kokichi not say what's on his mind. Maybe he's witnessing some character growth here. Maybe Kokichi really is trying to change, just a little bit.]
It's fine. Though, while we're still kind of on the subject of things that are tiring... [He glances over at the blank dry erase board.] What happened to your bed?
Kokichi glances over at the board as well, with a sort of questioning hum.]
Oh! I sold it~ [Said as...cheerily as ever.] I've just been sleeping on the couch anyway, and there wouldn't be a whole lot of room for the dry erase board in here with the bed in here too. So I found some creepy dude who was excited that I'd slept in it and sold it to him. Didn't pay a whole lot, but it was still something.
I...see. [It's...really kind of disturbing to hear Kokichi say something like that so casually. Shuichi isn't stupid, he knows what the unspoken implication there is. Just what sort of people has Kokichi been getting mixed up with?] Is...there a reason why you've been sleeping on the couch instead?
We had full sized mattresses at the academy too... [And you slept on that instead of the couch? He's getting the feeling this is a lie...] Is it really so perfect though? You look like you haven't slept in at least a week.
[And that's being generous. You look like shit, Kokichi. He successfully steered the conversation back to this.]
Aha...how did I not catch onto this when you asked about my bed? I'm totally cornered here~ [He's laughing despite this fact, in a sort of helpless manner. Unless he can give Shuichi a really convincing lie that he'll actually buy, he'll know something is really wrong if he tries to get out of answering...can he come up with that good of a lie with how tired he is?
His sly, teasing smile doesn't have as much weight to it as it usually does, but it still falls into place as naturally as it always has.]
Well Sai~hara~chan~ This game is all about keeping each other up all night, isn't it? I hate sleeping during the day if I can help it, but the people I usually lay prefer doing it at night. So unfortunately I'm caught in a kind of burning the candles at both ends situation. Not the most healthy, I know, but squares don't fill themselves~
[He can sure as hell try. That's totally believable, isn't it? It's not exactly wrong, the only sexual encounter of his so far that had been during the day was his very first one...that's not why he's having a hard time sleeping, but let's see if the detective can puzzle that fact out.]
Because you're clearly exhausted, that's why. [It really wasn't a subtle shift in conversation. He's sure that if Kokichi were on the top of his game, it wouldn't have worked. He would have caught on and shifted the subject on to something else.]
You can't even lie convincingly in this state. Seriously, when was the last time you had a decent night's sleep?
[Don't make him break down how he knows you're lying, Kokichi. Because he will, but you probably won't enjoy it.]
[Shit. Alright, that's fine. He'll try something else then. His momma didn't raise no quitter!]
Define your definition of "decent"~! I've been pretty satisfied with the sleep I've been getting, even if it hasn't been a lot. And I'm more than happy with how I've been spending my time awake. I've been pretty productive, after all!
[A hand lifts to point towards the whiteboard.]
I got my bed situation taken care of, purchased that, found a place that will make dick waffles for me on request, did a couple of good late night study sessions so I can continue tackling this game to the best of my abilities, met new people...it's been super satisfying!
[U wanna go, little man? Fine. Let's throw down. He'll corner you yet.]
Oma-kun...none of those are things that would take up so much of your time that you wouldn't be able to get a good night's sleep at least once every few nights. And, by that, I mean sleep that's actually restful and does what it's supposed to do for your mind and body.
[Come on, don't insult him by playing dumb. What a weak defense, are you even trying?]
Which, given your resemblance to a tanuki right now, you obviously haven't had, even if you're satisfied with how you've been spending your waking hours.
[Shoulda taken the extra few minutes to put on that concealer, Kokichi. Mouths are always ready to lie, but bodies will always speak the truth unless acted upon by some outside force.]
[He should have, it's true. Should have just told the truth from the beginning too, but oh well.]
So it's impossible to get actually restful sleep just because I haven't been getting much of it?
[He leans back a little, trying to look as calm and relaxed as possible.]
Naps can be plenty restful, but you can still look terrible if that's all you're getting! And it's pretty unfair to say that none of those would keep me up all night. I put 200% of my effort into everything I do, so between those things and sleeping around, I've been super busy! You can't assume that's a lie when you've never joined me on any of these evenings, you know. That's like claiming a tree doesn't make sound when it falls just because you weren't around to hear it!
That may be, but it's also the only way to turn my assumptions into the truth. Because I don't think you've been sleeping around as much as you'd have me believe. You actually haven't filled many squares at all, have you?
[The more he talks, the more cornered he gets, but he still doesn't seem intent on giving up. Finally he gets to experience the Argument Armament! Too bad he doesn't look cooler for it like everyone else did.]
Maybe I haven't, but that doesn't really mean anything. I never specified that they were my squares they were filling~ There are lots of people here who want to get home real bad, y'know? They're pretty willing to split their reward with someone helping out. The job of an escort is pretty lucrative here!
I'm sure it is. But I'm also just as sure you're not actually working as one. If you were, you would have just said so from the start instead of throwing all these other weak excuses for why you haven't been sleeping at me. That's definitely something that would cause you to burn a candle at both ends.
[Also he just...has a really hard time seeing Kokichi agreeing to that kind of work. Call it a hunch.]
And, like you said, I haven't been spending time with you at night. So I wouldn't have any way of knowing whether or not it was a lie. But bringing it up now...it's obvious you only just thought of it.
Not to mention...you like playing games on the hardest difficulty. Working as an escort in a game of "kink bingo"...where's the challenge in that?
Things like "hardest difficulty" can be pretty fluid, can't they? What's hard for me could be totally different than what's hard for someone else. So maybe that is the hardest difficulty in my case~
[That's definitely a weak argument, but he's running out of things he can say. He's running out of lies and excuses...]
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Aha, both! Then again, I guess it would have been impossible to have a party thrown for me, seeing as we weren't really friends when I lost my virginity.
[From his perspective, anyway. Suddenly he leans forward, only a tiny bit of a wobble as he does so, and puts as much energy as he can muster into an excited reaction.]
And we're not, but that's what I mean! Wouldn't it be cool if we were? Though it's not like you have a bro either, right? So you're missing out on the party! I'd even be willing to keep it low energy and low key for you, since I know you're definitely not the go out and drink type of guy. Maybe just order us a couple escorts for the night and we can stay in instead!
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[You know, Kaito? Purple hair? Wears house slippers all the time? Has a dumb little goatee? Even if he's not here right now, he's still Shuichi's bro. Their brotherly bond transcends universes and also life and death.]
But even if he was, I still wouldn't share what Akamatsu-san and I did, and I wouldn't want a party like that. It just seems a little...disrespectful.
[To Kaede, presumably. Apparently, for as tight a bond as he and Kaito share, Shuichi does not acknowledge the "bros before hoes" clause of the bro code.]
But if you really want a part of your own, then...I guess we could go do something for that. Nothing involving escorts, though.
[He's pretty sure that was supposed to be a joke, but still.]
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[He sits back up, yawning a long moment before continuing. Sorry...he's tired.]
You're celebrating becoming a man! Or...something. Also not here means you don't have a bro, y'know? But I guess it'd be pretty impossible for me to compare to Momota-chan, so I won't bother trying, don't worry.
[He was hoping you wouldn't bring him up too. You're ruining all of his hopes and dreams here, Shuichi. Every time he has one for this conversation, you dash it!]
The escort thing was a lie~ I don't even know where to get one here! Well, that's a lie too, I know a few establishments. Maybe we can find a host club to visit instead~
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You're you and Momota-kun is Momota-kun. It's not that you can't compare to him, rather the bond I have with him and the one I have with you are two completely different things.
[I'm sorry, were you trying to keep this conversation light and silly? Guess that's yet another hope and/or dream dashed because Shuichi has more serious intentions in mind.]
I wouldn't want you to try and be Momota-kun instead of being yourself.
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You make it surprisingly difficult to keep a light mood going, did you know that? [His tone is still light and cheery, not really matching what he's saying at all.]
Self-depreciation is a classic way to lift the mood between two people who are merely friends~ It lets you either commiserate with the person making the comment, or agree with the joke and everyone has a good laugh. I don't think you're supposed to try and correct it like that, Saihara-chan!
[Come on now, just let it slide. That's how it works.]
I wouldn't want to be him anyway, but since you've decided to turn this in a more serious direction instead, you at least have to agree that you'll always be closer with him, right? Because he's got charisma and a magnetic personality, but I'm just tiring and annoying~ That's what I was getting at. In that way, we are comparable, don't you think?
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[Nope. Not letting it slide. You're talking to a nobleman of self-depreciation, Kokichi. He knows that line right there is a load of crap.]
Yes, Momota-kun will always be my best friend, no matter what. But that doesn't mean you and I can't become just as close. Especially since...one of you is here, and the other one isn't. [And you can't become closer to someone who isn't here. Kaito will always be his best friend and hold a special place in his heart but...Kokichi has opportunities here and now that Kaito doesn't, and never will, have. There may be a pretty big gap in their closeness levels at the moment, but it doesn't have to stay that way.]
And... [Shuichi pauses and frowns slightly to himself. Does he really want to admit this? It was something he'd decided not to tell Kokichi, back when they spent time together in the days of the student council's reign. And then something he'd stopped thinking completely, after Kokichi had gone off the deep end. But now that they're friends again...] You can be just as charismatic as Momota-kun, in your own unconventional way. Just like he can be annoying in his own ways. He's my best friend, and I think highly of him, but... do you really think it's easy for someone like me to keep up with him? You're both tiring, but...it's not a bad thing. At least, I don't think it is.
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But the detective just implied - no, outright stated - that he could be a best friend too. That he could grow just as close to him as Kaito...and then Shuichi continues, telling him that he thinks he's charismatic too, in his own way! The leader has to glance away, stare at the oh so interesting floor, while he tries to find a way to change the conversation. Or at least steer it away from himself.]
W-well...honestly, I can't see you keeping up with a plastic bag being blown around in the wind, Saihara-chan~ So it's not like I doubted he could be annoying and tiring, or anything!
[He's just moreso, that's all.]
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[Maybe he's reading too much into it, but it almost seems like...Kokichi valued their friendship more than he did.]
[It's weird though... Even though Shuichi accepted his apology and has been doing what he can to try and repair their friendship, it's like something's been holding the other boy back the whole time. Like, for once, Kokichi doesn't fully believe Shuichi. And he's not really sure why that is.]
[He smiles softly in confirmation, hoping that this time Kokichi actually believes it. Because he really can't put it much more plainly than this.]
A-ah... [He can't even offer a rebuttal to that comment, honestly. It's a fair assessment, even Shuichi has to admit it.] Well, as long as you understand...you just made it sound like I can't see anything negative about him or see anything positive about you. And that's not the case at all.
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It's not really that he doesn't believe the detective though, but more that...he's scared of making a mistake. Out of everyone who hated him by the end of his time in the killing game, it was Shuichi who drew a clear, crisp line between himself and the leader. They were all obvious in how much they didn't like him, but none of the others made it quite as obvious that he'd ruined his chances of being even part of their group and that there'd be no going back like he did.
So now it's hard...despite the fact that Shuichi accepted his apology and obviously doesn't hate him anymore, it's hard to fully trust that just yet. Even now, when it's stated so plainly...there's a part of him that finds it hard to accept that as fact still.
Which is why he smiles and laughs it off again.]
That's true, it does sound like that doesn't it? I guess it's not very fair of me to assume things like that. But it's pretty easy to think that way for me, you know? I'm a liar, after all~ Even when people around me do and say worse things, opinions of me still tend to be lower. And then you have- [Kokichi stops and goes quiet, brows furrowing a little as he gives what he was about to say a little more thought. And then he shakes his head.]
Ah, no, I shouldn't say that. I've already said enough, and it doesn't really matter anyway, right? I just shouldn't assume things like that. So I'm sorry I did, Saihara-chan~
[While it's said with a sort of carefree tone of voice, he does still give him a slight bow in apology.]
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[Shuichi's brows raise slightly in curiosity. Then you have...what? It's weird for Kokichi not say what's on his mind. Maybe he's witnessing some character growth here. Maybe Kokichi really is trying to change, just a little bit.]
It's fine. Though, while we're still kind of on the subject of things that are tiring... [He glances over at the blank dry erase board.] What happened to your bed?
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Kokichi glances over at the board as well, with a sort of questioning hum.]
Oh! I sold it~ [Said as...cheerily as ever.] I've just been sleeping on the couch anyway, and there wouldn't be a whole lot of room for the dry erase board in here with the bed in here too. So I found some creepy dude who was excited that I'd slept in it and sold it to him. Didn't pay a whole lot, but it was still something.
[And then he looks back to Shuichi, grinning.]
Too bad for him I never even laid down in it~
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Well it's a full sized mattress, right? That's way too much room for someone as small as me. It's like...uncomfortably empty, y'know? [It's lonely.]
The couch is perfect though! Things would be more perfect if they just had normal futons but this is good enough.
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[And that's being generous. You look like shit, Kokichi. He successfully steered the conversation back to this.]
[Take that!!]
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His sly, teasing smile doesn't have as much weight to it as it usually does, but it still falls into place as naturally as it always has.]
Well Sai~hara~chan~ This game is all about keeping each other up all night, isn't it? I hate sleeping during the day if I can help it, but the people I usually lay prefer doing it at night. So unfortunately I'm caught in a kind of burning the candles at both ends situation. Not the most healthy, I know, but squares don't fill themselves~
[He can sure as hell try. That's totally believable, isn't it? It's not exactly wrong, the only sexual encounter of his so far that had been during the day was his very first one...that's not why he's having a hard time sleeping, but let's see if the detective can puzzle that fact out.]
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You can't even lie convincingly in this state. Seriously, when was the last time you had a decent night's sleep?
[Don't make him break down how he knows you're lying, Kokichi. Because he will, but you probably won't enjoy it.]
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Define your definition of "decent"~! I've been pretty satisfied with the sleep I've been getting, even if it hasn't been a lot. And I'm more than happy with how I've been spending my time awake. I've been pretty productive, after all!
[A hand lifts to point towards the whiteboard.]
I got my bed situation taken care of, purchased that, found a place that will make dick waffles for me on request, did a couple of good late night study sessions so I can continue tackling this game to the best of my abilities, met new people...it's been super satisfying!
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Oma-kun...none of those are things that would take up so much of your time that you wouldn't be able to get a good night's sleep at least once every few nights. And, by that, I mean sleep that's actually restful and does what it's supposed to do for your mind and body.
[Come on, don't insult him by playing dumb. What a weak defense, are you even trying?]
Which, given your resemblance to a tanuki right now, you obviously haven't had, even if you're satisfied with how you've been spending your waking hours.
[Shoulda taken the extra few minutes to put on that concealer, Kokichi. Mouths are always ready to lie, but bodies will always speak the truth unless acted upon by some outside force.]
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So it's impossible to get actually restful sleep just because I haven't been getting much of it?
[He leans back a little, trying to look as calm and relaxed as possible.]
Naps can be plenty restful, but you can still look terrible if that's all you're getting! And it's pretty unfair to say that none of those would keep me up all night. I put 200% of my effort into everything I do, so between those things and sleeping around, I've been super busy! You can't assume that's a lie when you've never joined me on any of these evenings, you know. That's like claiming a tree doesn't make sound when it falls just because you weren't around to hear it!
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[Alright, fine. Going to just get straight to the point here, if you're going to keep giving him these weak excuses.]
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I'm purposefully hiding my card from you guys to make this game more interesting. Showing you would totally ruin that!
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Maybe I haven't, but that doesn't really mean anything. I never specified that they were my squares they were filling~ There are lots of people here who want to get home real bad, y'know? They're pretty willing to split their reward with someone helping out. The job of an escort is pretty lucrative here!
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[Also he just...has a really hard time seeing Kokichi agreeing to that kind of work. Call it a hunch.]
And, like you said, I haven't been spending time with you at night. So I wouldn't have any way of knowing whether or not it was a lie. But bringing it up now...it's obvious you only just thought of it.
Not to mention...you like playing games on the hardest difficulty. Working as an escort in a game of "kink bingo"...where's the challenge in that?
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[That's definitely a weak argument, but he's running out of things he can say. He's running out of lies and excuses...]
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