[There's a little hesitation at first, almost as if he's about to be his usual stubborn self about letting them just get up and leave first thing after he wakes up, but Kokichi relents fairly easily after that small pause. He grips the blanket a little instead, keeping his eyes on the detective.]
[Knowing full well what that pause and that look mean, Shuichi does his best not to keep the other boy waiting. He just slides out of bed and disappears into the bathroom for a few minutes to pee, wash his hands and face, and brush his teeth as long as here's there. May as well.]
[And then, sure enough, he comes right back. Kokichi's trust was well placed, as usual. Because when does Shuichi NOT come right back in instances like these? Never, that's when.]
[Ugh. This is why you're such a good friend, Shuichi.
Kokichi's eyes light up when the detective exits the bathroom once more and, continuing the trend of doing childish things, both of his hands peek out from under the blanket. They're reaching for Shuichi, fingers curling and uncurling in a grabbing manner. Come back to bed!! Curl up under the blankets with him again!]
[Yup, there it is. Kokichi's inner child making an appearance, exactly as Shuichi expected.]
[Okay, NOW he thinks you're kind of childish, friend. Grabby hands? Really? How old are you?]
[Shuichi sighs and shakes his head,slipping back under the blankets but not actually laying down. Instead, he sits down, resting his back against the headboard.]
[Yes really. What's wrong with grabby hands? Sitting up and leaning against the headboard doesn't seem to be a bother, as Kokichi just migrates to flop into his lap a little, resting his chest across most of it with his arms crossed in front of him, giving him somewhere to put his head. At first he hums a little in response, the tone sounding somewhat cheery.]
Not really. [Ah, so the cheery tone and generally upbeat attitude is just an act then.] It's more like I don't feel like being upset about it or anything, so I'm refusing to let myself be upset~ Oh, but don't worry. Waking up next to you did at least calm my nerves a little.
[What are you, a cat? A kitten? Between this and the way he couldn't move earlier, he's really beginning to wonder if Kokichi isn't part cat. Nekokichi.]
Oh. Well...I'm glad to hear that helped, at least. Um...do you want to talk about it? Your nightmare, I mean?
[Not said with a whole lot of conviction because he's pretty sure the answer is going to be "no".]
[Just on the very slim chance that he DID want to talk about it. Apparently this isn't a problem, though, because Shuichi isn't going to push it. If he doesn't want to talk about it, then he's not going to. Even if he pushed, he's sure it wouldn't make a difference. Kokichi would probably just lie to get him off his back.]
[He's not nearly sleep deprived enough for Shuichi to be able to force the truth out of him.]
Can I at least ask...why just me? I thought you preferred having both Akamatsu-san and myself around for situations like this. Why didn't you wake her up first?
Mmm... [He turns over, laying on his side rather than his chest across Shuichi's lap. Not really so that he can look at the other boy, since he just kind of focuses off at some other part of his cabin, but he does steal a glance at him as he starts talking.]
I guess I can answer that at least. I like cuddling with both of you, but sometimes I'd prefer to cuddle with one of you over the other, depending on the situation. Akamatsu-chan...she wants to talk about these things. She wants to help, and it's nice, but I don't want to talk about some of them. Sometimes all I want is to be cuddled and to feel safe and get over it that way instead.
[So Shuichi's guess was correct, though he has the nightmare wrong.]
Though most of the time when I feel that way I just sit at home and deal with it instead. [This is the first time he's snuck into bed with him over a nightmare.] But that's why it's nice to go to you alone...you won't push unless you think you can actually get me to talk, and even if you did manage I'd at least have the comfort of knowing I wasn't disturbing Akamatsu-chan with it... She says she can handle nightmares about the trials and executions and stuff, just because she saw them in those ornaments, but...these are different. And...well. Admittedly, of the two of you, I kind of feel safer with you. No offense to Akamatsu-chan, but I know you better than I do her still.
[And now he shifts onto his back, looking up at Shuichi.]
Likewise, there are nightmares I don't really want to talk to you about. Not that I don't trust you with those too but you just don't need to hear about them. So I'd feel more comfortable going to just Akamatsu-chan with them...and those ones I do want to talk about usually...
[He thinks about this a little more, humming to himself.]
Taha~! Actually, thinking about it now, I really only like cuddling with you guys together when I'm trying to avoid nightmares all together! I never have them when I'm with you both, so that's more like...prevention~
[Shuichi listens quietly, keeping his eyes on Kokichi for the entire explanation as the boy shifts around in his lap.]
[He feels safer with him? More comfortable, he'd understand, but safer? It's kind of hard to believe...Shuichi just isn't the sort of person who inspires a feeling of safety. Outside of murder trials, that is. He's not like Kaito, Gonta, Tenko, or Maki...hell, even Ryoma and Kirumi manage to have more of a protective presence than Shuichi.]
Really? Never?
[Hey let's talk about that last part, instead, huh?]
[Safer. And he'd feel safer with you than any of those others as well.
...though that's not saying much for Maki, but still.]
Yeah, never! I mean, you guys are the SHSL Hypnotists, so that's not really surprising~
[But of course that's a lie. He glances away, just a little smile playing at his lips.]
...I told you this once already, but I'm really not used to being alone. Even having one person around is nice, and it's really comforting. It's not always enough to keep me from having nightmares, but I have them a whole lot less. Like...a lot, a lot. And so when both of you are around, they just...never happen. It feels a lot more like home. I mean, it's not like you can feel all nine people in a big cuddle pile, no matter where you're sleeping, right? Having one of you on each side though...that's close enough. And that...makes it nice enough that I can just stop thinking for a while. Like really stop.
[After all of that, he gives Shuichi abroad grin again, laughing all of that off as easily as always.]
I'm an attention whore, basically! Which I'm sure anyone with eyes could have guessed.
[Tears quickly well up along the corners of his eyes, fingers curling into the front of his hoodie a little.]
I-it's because I never got enough hugs as a child!! My parents hated me and shunned me, and kept me locked in a cage! They even got a puppy that I was never allowed to pet! Nobody ever gave me any attention at all!!!
[Just as quickly as they came, the false tears left, replaced by another laugh and smile.]
Except that's a lie! My mom hugged me all the time! I'm just shameless through and through~ Or maybe that's a lie too. Maybe I never knew my mom at all! Nishishi~ But I really am an attention whore. I'm used to my subordinates showering me with love and affection all the time, so this is just a totally bizarre situation for me! Do you see what kind of hardships I have to put up with as a Supreme Leader?
[Judging by Shuichi's expression when Kokichi calls himself an attention whore...he noticed. He's not sure he would have used the word "attention whore" specifically, but definitely guessed that the leader enjoys being the center of attention. Even if it's the center of only a single person's attention, rather than a whole group.]
[But for Kokichi to just outright admit that...jeez, he really is shameless, huh?]
...being showered with love and affection is a hardship?
Non non, without DICE here, there is nobody to shower me with love and affection. That's the hardship!
[It's only half that he's actually as shameless as he says, really - which he really is - and half to make a joke of those uncomfortable, lonely feelings. If he calls himself an attention whore and just makes light of the whole thing, it'll trivialize the loneliness part.
And clearly that works when Shuichi seems to just agree and move on.]
I guess that just means you'll have to make up for what they cannot provide, Saihara-chan~! Lucky for you I'm suuuuper easy to please. Just swear your undying loyalty to me, and promise to take care of my every possible need! Meaning taking showers with me, reminding me how great of a leader I am on a constant basis, feeding me dinner, massaging my sore muscles after a successful heist, you know. Typical evil subordinate things. They'll be so happy that you've taken such good care of me in their absence that they probably won't even torture you that badly for kidnapping me, nishishi!
Um...I'm not your evil subordinate though. [Ergo, he does not have to do these things. Sorry, Kokichi, not happening. At least not to the absurd degree that you want.] I'm not the person who kidnapped you either, so they shouldn't torture me in the first place.
[Though he's pretty sure "torture" for DICE means pranks, rather than the traditional definition. So...honestly, he's even LESS worried.]
Well they don't know that~ I could totally blackmail you with that, you know! [He offers him a brilliant grin, reaching up to poke him teasingly in the chest.]
They'll listen and believe whatever I say~ And even if they don't believe me because I'm probably lying, they'll still go along with torturing you if I tell them to! Now if you were part of my organization, that'd probably ensure your safety, y'know? So are you suuuuuuure you want to tell me you're not my evil subordinate?
[Dammit, Kokichi blocked the argument he was going to make. Sure, they don't know that, but the leader also said they're the only people who always know when he's lying. Ergo, they would know Shuichi didn't really kidnap him. But apparently that doesn't matter because they just do whatever he says anyway.]
[Of course...this is all assuming that the members of DICE are real people; a thought which floats through the back of Shuichi's mind despite his best efforts to ignore that possibility.]
Mmm, I'm sure. I'm not much of a thief or a prankster, so...I wouldn't be a be a very good fit. I'd probably be completely useless as an evil subordinate. [Especially since he's not evil. But, then again, neither is Kokichi. Not really. He's just an asshole.]
But, you know I don't have to be your subordinate to take care of you. I can do that as your friend too. [Technically, he already is. You know, since he's supporting Kokichi financially so he doesn't have to play bingo anymore.] I'm not going to feed you or any of those other things, but I can make up for some of the attention you're missing by spending time with you and doing other things.
Consider being my secretary though! Or my cute lap boy I bring out when I'm trying to make clients jealous~ Though I guess I'd be the one sitting in your lap if that were the case. No offense, but I'm way too tiny for the other way around. You could be the errand boy too, you know! Getting me soda whenever I need it!
[He says this as if these are all totally things that he has, as if DICE isn't the small group that Shuichi knows it is. Like he's still the leader of a huge organization. He hums a little though, rolling back over onto his side for now.]
Of course I know that, though. But being my subordinate would make it a lot easier to ask you for stuff, y'know? Because then it'd be your job! I'm really good at handing out tasks and demands to people who's job it is to complete them! That's part of my talent, after all!
[And, as they both know, he's not that great at asking friends for support. Something that was painfully obvious during the killing game but still carried over to the space station too. Even now, he really only ever asks Shuichi for the very bare necessities, trying to be as little of a burden as possible.]
[Yes, it was and still is painfully obvious that this is something Kokichi struggles with. It's really kind of sad, actually.]
I don't want you to think that the only way I'll agree to do something for you is if I'm obligated to. I know that's probably what makes it easier for you to ask for help, but...I already told you I'd do whatever I can to help you, right? So it shouldn't be hard for you to ask me for help as a friend, because as long as it's something reasonable, I'll do it.
["Unreasonable" being...murder, basically. That's pretty much the one thing he won't do for a friend.]
I'll do it because you're my friend and I want to, not because I'm your subordinate and I have to. [See the difference?] So, again, I'm going to have to pass. On...all of those job offerings...to be honest...
[Especially lap boy because what the fuck, Kokichi. Why was that even a suggestion?]
[There's a momentary pause where the most Kokichi does is give Shuichi's blanket a blank stare, sort of picking at it a little, rubbing the fabric between his fingers and thumb. He's...at least giving it some thought? Or it looks like he is anyway. But the moment is over fairly quick and rolls back onto his back, grinning up at his friend.]
Silly Saihara-chan, that's pretty obvious! I mean, you are letting me just lounge in your lap like some contented lover after all~ Obviously if you didn't mean what you said, you would have pushed me off when I initially laid down, right?
[This is followed by a scandalized gasp, the leader's eyes wide and full of (fake) fear as his hands move to cover his mouth.]
Unless secretly you're trying to get me to let my guard down so that you can do...things to my body while you have me here! I know I'm oh-so-desirable, but I would have never expected that from you! Oh what has this place done to you, my beloved Saihara-chan~!
[The dramatics end with him clutching his heart, face turning away with a look of (fake) pain in his expression, as if he is simply heartbroken. Heartbroken to know that Shuichi's innocence has been stolen from him. How awful!]
[Oh, good. He's giving it some thought. Good, that's exactly what he was hoping f--]
[Goddammit, Kokichi.]
N-no, that's not what I'm doing...
[It's a little tempting to respond sarcastically, but he's pretty sure that a comment like "things like pushing you onto the floor?" would just earn him some very loud crocodile tears.]
[That's exactly what it would earn. There's a split second of surprise that crosses his expression before he's grinning again, looking back up at him.]
I knew that of course! That's why I trust Saihara-chan so much! I'd never lay down like this in the lap of some pervert.
[................probably.]
Don't worry, I 100% believe in your purity! When you and Akamatsu-chan get married, I'll fight anyone who says you aren't allowed to wear a white wedding gown on your special day!
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diffidentive) wrote2017-11-13 11:58 am
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Sure.
[He's trusting you to come back, so you better!!]
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[Knowing full well what that pause and that look mean, Shuichi does his best not to keep the other boy waiting. He just slides out of bed and disappears into the bathroom for a few minutes to pee, wash his hands and face, and brush his teeth as long as here's there. May as well.]
[And then, sure enough, he comes right back. Kokichi's trust was well placed, as usual. Because when does Shuichi NOT come right back in instances like these? Never, that's when.]
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Kokichi's eyes light up when the detective exits the bathroom once more and, continuing the trend of doing childish things, both of his hands peek out from under the blanket. They're reaching for Shuichi, fingers curling and uncurling in a grabbing manner. Come back to bed!! Curl up under the blankets with him again!]
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[Okay, NOW he thinks you're kind of childish, friend. Grabby hands? Really? How old are you?]
[Shuichi sighs and shakes his head,slipping back under the blankets but not actually laying down. Instead, he sits down, resting his back against the headboard.]
Feeling better already?
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Not really. [Ah, so the cheery tone and generally upbeat attitude is just an act then.] It's more like I don't feel like being upset about it or anything, so I'm refusing to let myself be upset~ Oh, but don't worry. Waking up next to you did at least calm my nerves a little.
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Oh. Well...I'm glad to hear that helped, at least. Um...do you want to talk about it? Your nightmare, I mean?
[Not said with a whole lot of conviction because he's pretty sure the answer is going to be "no".]
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Sounds like you already know the answer to that.
[Yup. It's definitely a "no".]
That's probably selfish, since I bothered to come over and sleep with you over it, but...I'd just rather relax and forget it. Y'know?
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Thought I may as well ask anyway.
[Just on the very slim chance that he DID want to talk about it. Apparently this isn't a problem, though, because Shuichi isn't going to push it. If he doesn't want to talk about it, then he's not going to. Even if he pushed, he's sure it wouldn't make a difference. Kokichi would probably just lie to get him off his back.]
[He's not nearly sleep deprived enough for Shuichi to be able to force the truth out of him.]
Can I at least ask...why just me? I thought you preferred having both Akamatsu-san and myself around for situations like this. Why didn't you wake her up first?
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I guess I can answer that at least. I like cuddling with both of you, but sometimes I'd prefer to cuddle with one of you over the other, depending on the situation. Akamatsu-chan...she wants to talk about these things. She wants to help, and it's nice, but I don't want to talk about some of them. Sometimes all I want is to be cuddled and to feel safe and get over it that way instead.
[So Shuichi's guess was correct, though he has the nightmare wrong.]
Though most of the time when I feel that way I just sit at home and deal with it instead. [This is the first time he's snuck into bed with him over a nightmare.] But that's why it's nice to go to you alone...you won't push unless you think you can actually get me to talk, and even if you did manage I'd at least have the comfort of knowing I wasn't disturbing Akamatsu-chan with it... She says she can handle nightmares about the trials and executions and stuff, just because she saw them in those ornaments, but...these are different. And...well. Admittedly, of the two of you, I kind of feel safer with you. No offense to Akamatsu-chan, but I know you better than I do her still.
[And now he shifts onto his back, looking up at Shuichi.]
Likewise, there are nightmares I don't really want to talk to you about. Not that I don't trust you with those too but you just don't need to hear about them. So I'd feel more comfortable going to just Akamatsu-chan with them...and those ones I do want to talk about usually...
[He thinks about this a little more, humming to himself.]
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[He feels safer with him? More comfortable, he'd understand, but safer? It's kind of hard to believe...Shuichi just isn't the sort of person who inspires a feeling of safety. Outside of murder trials, that is. He's not like Kaito, Gonta, Tenko, or Maki...hell, even Ryoma and Kirumi manage to have more of a protective presence than Shuichi.]
Really? Never?
[Hey let's talk about that last part, instead, huh?]
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...though that's not saying much for Maki, but still.]
Yeah, never! I mean, you guys are the SHSL Hypnotists, so that's not really surprising~
[But of course that's a lie. He glances away, just a little smile playing at his lips.]
...I told you this once already, but I'm really not used to being alone. Even having one person around is nice, and it's really comforting. It's not always enough to keep me from having nightmares, but I have them a whole lot less. Like...a lot, a lot. And so when both of you are around, they just...never happen. It feels a lot more like home. I mean, it's not like you can feel all nine people in a big cuddle pile, no matter where you're sleeping, right? Having one of you on each side though...that's close enough. And that...makes it nice enough that I can just stop thinking for a while. Like really stop.
[After all of that, he gives Shuichi abroad grin again, laughing all of that off as easily as always.]
I'm an attention whore, basically! Which I'm sure anyone with eyes could have guessed.
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I-it's because I never got enough hugs as a child!! My parents hated me and shunned me, and kept me locked in a cage! They even got a puppy that I was never allowed to pet! Nobody ever gave me any attention at all!!!
done
Except that's a lie! My mom hugged me all the time! I'm just shameless through and through~ Or maybe that's a lie too. Maybe I never knew my mom at all! Nishishi~ But I really am an attention whore. I'm used to my subordinates showering me with love and affection all the time, so this is just a totally bizarre situation for me! Do you see what kind of hardships I have to put up with as a Supreme Leader?
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[But for Kokichi to just outright admit that...jeez, he really is shameless, huh?]
...being showered with love and affection is a hardship?
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[It's only half that he's actually as shameless as he says, really - which he really is - and half to make a joke of those uncomfortable, lonely feelings. If he calls himself an attention whore and just makes light of the whole thing, it'll trivialize the loneliness part.
And clearly that works when Shuichi seems to just agree and move on.]
I guess that just means you'll have to make up for what they cannot provide, Saihara-chan~! Lucky for you I'm suuuuper easy to please. Just swear your undying loyalty to me, and promise to take care of my every possible need! Meaning taking showers with me, reminding me how great of a leader I am on a constant basis, feeding me dinner, massaging my sore muscles after a successful heist, you know. Typical evil subordinate things. They'll be so happy that you've taken such good care of me in their absence that they probably won't even torture you that badly for kidnapping me, nishishi!
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[Okay, yeah, that makes a lot more sense.]
Um...I'm not your evil subordinate though. [Ergo, he does not have to do these things. Sorry, Kokichi, not happening. At least not to the absurd degree that you want.] I'm not the person who kidnapped you either, so they shouldn't torture me in the first place.
[Though he's pretty sure "torture" for DICE means pranks, rather than the traditional definition. So...honestly, he's even LESS worried.]
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They'll listen and believe whatever I say~ And even if they don't believe me because I'm probably lying, they'll still go along with torturing you if I tell them to! Now if you were part of my organization, that'd probably ensure your safety, y'know? So are you suuuuuuure you want to tell me you're not my evil subordinate?
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[Of course...this is all assuming that the members of DICE are real people; a thought which floats through the back of Shuichi's mind despite his best efforts to ignore that possibility.]
Mmm, I'm sure. I'm not much of a thief or a prankster, so...I wouldn't be a be a very good fit. I'd probably be completely useless as an evil subordinate. [Especially since he's not evil. But, then again, neither is Kokichi. Not really. He's just an asshole.]
But, you know I don't have to be your subordinate to take care of you. I can do that as your friend too. [Technically, he already is. You know, since he's supporting Kokichi financially so he doesn't have to play bingo anymore.] I'm not going to feed you or any of those other things, but I can make up for some of the attention you're missing by spending time with you and doing other things.
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[He says this as if these are all totally things that he has, as if DICE isn't the small group that Shuichi knows it is. Like he's still the leader of a huge organization. He hums a little though, rolling back over onto his side for now.]
Of course I know that, though. But being my subordinate would make it a lot easier to ask you for stuff, y'know? Because then it'd be your job! I'm really good at handing out tasks and demands to people who's job it is to complete them! That's part of my talent, after all!
[And, as they both know, he's not that great at asking friends for support. Something that was painfully obvious during the killing game but still carried over to the space station too. Even now, he really only ever asks Shuichi for the very bare necessities, trying to be as little of a burden as possible.]
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[Yes, it was and still is painfully obvious that this is something Kokichi struggles with. It's really kind of sad, actually.]
I don't want you to think that the only way I'll agree to do something for you is if I'm obligated to. I know that's probably what makes it easier for you to ask for help, but...I already told you I'd do whatever I can to help you, right? So it shouldn't be hard for you to ask me for help as a friend, because as long as it's something reasonable, I'll do it.
["Unreasonable" being...murder, basically. That's pretty much the one thing he won't do for a friend.]
I'll do it because you're my friend and I want to, not because I'm your subordinate and I have to. [See the difference?] So, again, I'm going to have to pass. On...all of those job offerings...to be honest...
[Especially lap boy because what the fuck, Kokichi. Why was that even a suggestion?]
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Silly Saihara-chan, that's pretty obvious! I mean, you are letting me just lounge in your lap like some contented lover after all~ Obviously if you didn't mean what you said, you would have pushed me off when I initially laid down, right?
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Unless secretly you're trying to get me to let my guard down so that you can do...things to my body while you have me here! I know I'm oh-so-desirable, but I would have never expected that from you! Oh what has this place done to you, my beloved Saihara-chan~!
[The dramatics end with him clutching his heart, face turning away with a look of (fake) pain in his expression, as if he is simply heartbroken. Heartbroken to know that Shuichi's innocence has been stolen from him. How awful!]
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[Goddammit, Kokichi.]
N-no, that's not what I'm doing...
[It's a little tempting to respond sarcastically, but he's pretty sure that a comment like "things like pushing you onto the floor?" would just earn him some very loud crocodile tears.]
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I knew that of course! That's why I trust Saihara-chan so much! I'd never lay down like this in the lap of some pervert.
[................probably.]
Don't worry, I 100% believe in your purity! When you and Akamatsu-chan get married, I'll fight anyone who says you aren't allowed to wear a white wedding gown on your special day!
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