[Where in the world did his bed go? And what is that board? At least this retroactively answers the question he never asked about the pillows and blankets on Kokichi's couch last time. He didn't have a friend over, Kokichi himself was sleeping on the couch...for some reason.]
[What a weirdo.]
It's fine... [Though didn't he technically have a few hours to tidy up while he was waiting on a response? What the heck was he doing this whole time?]
[He sold his bed for some extra cash, and the white board is going to be used later, for a secret project. And he used that time to beat himself up over this whole mess...]
I. Well. [He holds his breath for a few beats and then lets it out in a little laugh.] Aha...I didn't have enough time to think what I wanted to say through all the way! Maybe I should have waited.
[Lifting a hand, the leader rubs at his eyes a little before bringing it up to remove the communicator cuff from his ear and pocket it. And then he straightens up some, followed by a bow. It's nothing like last time - first of all he's sitting down, so a little different, and second of all it's not nearly as deep either. Though it is still clearly very apologetic in nature.]
Last night...due to some unfortunate glitches in the stations system, I found myself in one of Akamatsu-chan's fantasies. I think that maybe I was having a fantasy of my own and...they mixed, or something? Haha, it was super weird. But...I wanted to apologize for that, because I ended up sleeping with her.
[It's not as collected as his last apology at all, Kokichi having a hard time actually putting his thoughts properly into words...but he's speaking slowly and carefully, as though he's aware of this and trying to correct for it. It's also pretty clear just how nervous he is as well, fumbling somewhat with his explanation that follows.]
I'm...sorry that I did that. That I couldn't....help myself? Stop myself? Ah...I should have been more aware of what I was doing. But because I wasn't, I managed to take her...ah...to sleep with her. Before you had a chance to do so. I. I'm sorry Saihara-chan.
[Kokichi, why would you sell your bed. What the fuck.]
...ah. So it was you, after all. [Shuichi looks...surprisingly okay for a guy who just got the news that his only friend slept with his girlfriend. Actually, he almost seems vaguely relieved to hear Kokichi say all this?] I appreciate your honesty and your apology, but uh...you can relax, I'm not mad or anything.
[A beat.]
Well...not mad at you or Akamatsu-san, at least. Neither of you had any control over the situation, so it wasn't your fault. [He is, however, a little angry with whoever is in charge of the winter display up in the dome. Which was a part of the reason he wanted to go up there and investigate. Maybe he could lodge a complaint with management.] This malfunction or glitch or whatever it is really messes with your head. I know neither of you would have done this if your sense of reality hadn't been so warped.
[Kinda sounds like he's speaking from first hand experience here, rather than parroting assurances given to him by Kaede.]
So...don't beat yourself up over it, alright? As long as it doesn't happen in reality, there's no problem.
[It takes him a moment to reply to that, brows furrowed like he's clearly processing it. Not because he's too tired to understand, but because...well...]
It may have just been a fantasy, but it still filled a square so it still counted, right? I still stole your first time with her from you...are you seriously not mad over that?
[He sounds incredulous, almost offended but more on Shuichi's behalf. Don't get him wrong, he doesn't want Shuichi to be mad and hate him like he's been scared of this whole time, but...]
Saihara-chan, you aren't going to tell that to every guy who fantasy fucks her, right? Not saying it will definitely happen again, but what if it does? With this glitching, it could...I mean, I don't want you to be mad, but...
[He's worried about you, bro. You need to stand up for yourself? What the fuck Shuichi.]
I'm really not mad. Because your entire assumption there is wrong. You didn't steal anything from me.
[You're like...a month late there, buddy. He was definitely Kaede's first. And in reality, not a fantasy.]
Plus...neither Akamatsu-san nor I really care about filling squares. [They're playing the game, but by their own set of rules. So...they're also kind of not playing the game, technically.] And even if we did, arousal is all it takes for something to "count" as far as this game is concerned, you know? The two of you weren't even in the same room, and you never touched each other.
[Didn't you know that, Kokichi? You don't actually HAVE have sex, so long as it's kinky. The two are apparently not mutually exclusive.]
So, no, I don't think it counts. Not in any way that really matters, anyway. Essentially all the two of you did was share a particularly vivid joint fantasy that you both found arousing.
[Does that sound like sex to you, Kokichi? Because it doesn't to him.]
[He looks a little surprised by the "you didn't steal anything from me" comment, because in his mind that definitely implies that they've done it already. Which good for him, and that's a relief, but that relief is short lived.
He couldn't hide the affect that "you only have to be aroused for it to count" has on him even if he tried. Even if he was more awake, and wasn't in the middle of apologizing for something he viewed as a grave mistake. The rest of the color in his face drains as there's a sharp, unpleasant twist in his stomach and his expression darkens some. Not with anger, but with something that looks a little more like pain, or like he's going to be sick.
He very, very clearly didn't know that. And equally as clearly wishes he had. He looks away from Shuichi, offering him a sort of non-committal sound at first and a nod before commenting.]
Guess that makes sense, yeah...guess. I was worried for nothing, then. [Nice. Great. How fun.] Thank you for being so understanding, Saihara-chan...I'm really relieved.
[I'm betting neither of you got "excited" over cuddling, and that's probably a requirement, right?]
[Why hadn't he fully tested that assumption? Shuichi and Kaede's failure to fill the cuddling square their first night here had proved that arousal needed to be involved, but...had Kokichi really just stopped there? Did he really not test it further? Had he really not attempted to figure out the finer intricacies of the game he'd been so eager to play?]
[Apparently not, because that look says all too clearly that he did something he regrets. Something that he wouldn't have done, had he known about that particular stipulation. Something pretty bad, judging by how ashen Kokichi's face has become.]
[It seems like every time the two of them talk, Kokichi just gives Shuichi at least one new reason to worry about him. Though this meeting is by far the most concerning yet. The boy is an absolute mess and Shuichi can only speculate on the reasons why and how he's come to be in this state.]
[For a brief moment, Shuichi hopes that maybe, just maybe, Kokichi will finally take him up on his offer to talk. That maybe Shuichi will finally have some idea of what's really bothering him...]
[But, of course, he doesn't. Despite the all-too-obvious concern in Shuichi's voice, Kokichi just puts his smiling mask back in place and shifts the conversation away from himself. Of course he does. Why have a serious conversation about feelings when you can make fun of the wimpy detective?]
[He sighs again, and his cheeks flush ever-so-faintly pink.]
Yes, we did.
[Maybe if he just...goes along with the teasing, he can try and steer the conversation back towards Kokichi and whatever problems he's clearly having. Maybe. Hopefully.]
No, I think it really is! I'm sure I've ready plenty of respectable sources on the subject matter.
[100% factual sources that are in no way merely gossip or fiction books.]
"Bros" are supposed to text one another immediately when they finally lose their virginity, so that their bro can congratulate them that night and plan a party for the near future to celebrate it. Usually by going out with their other bros!
[Drinking, dancing, going to strip clubs...that sort of thing!]
Of course I've never had a bro before, so I guess I don't really know what that's like, but if I did I'd totally want a party. Which is why I'm sad you didn't text me! Though I can still throw you one~
[The more he ridiculous he makes this conversation, the more tired the detective will get with it, and then he will want to leave. That's the goal here.]
[Yes, this conversation is tiring in its ridiculousness, but...that's kind of on par for the course with Kokichi. Talking to him is almost ALWAYS at least a little exhausting. So, unfortunately, he's used to it and has no intention of leaving.]
[His worry outweighs his exasperation, sorry Kokichi.]
Okay, wait...I'm confused now. Are you disappointed that I didn't throw you a party or that you didn't get the chance to throw me one? [He thought it was the latter but now he's not so sure. Since Apparently...Kokichi was sad that Shuichi didn't text him because HE wants a party? Oh my god he's even harder to keep up with when he's sleep deprived how is this even possible.] Also, when did we become "bros"? I feel like I missed something there...
[That is...not the word he would use to describe his friendship with Kokichi. At all.]
Aha, both! Then again, I guess it would have been impossible to have a party thrown for me, seeing as we weren't really friends when I lost my virginity.
[From his perspective, anyway. Suddenly he leans forward, only a tiny bit of a wobble as he does so, and puts as much energy as he can muster into an excited reaction.]
And we're not, but that's what I mean! Wouldn't it be cool if we were? Though it's not like you have a bro either, right? So you're missing out on the party! I'd even be willing to keep it low energy and low key for you, since I know you're definitely not the go out and drink type of guy. Maybe just order us a couple escorts for the night and we can stay in instead!
[You know, Kaito? Purple hair? Wears house slippers all the time? Has a dumb little goatee? Even if he's not here right now, he's still Shuichi's bro. Their brotherly bond transcends universes and also life and death.]
But even if he was, I still wouldn't share what Akamatsu-san and I did, and I wouldn't want a party like that. It just seems a little...disrespectful.
[To Kaede, presumably. Apparently, for as tight a bond as he and Kaito share, Shuichi does not acknowledge the "bros before hoes" clause of the bro code.]
But if you really want a part of your own, then...I guess we could go do something for that. Nothing involving escorts, though.
[He's pretty sure that was supposed to be a joke, but still.]
[He sits back up, yawning a long moment before continuing. Sorry...he's tired.]
You're celebrating becoming a man! Or...something. Also not here means you don't have a bro, y'know? But I guess it'd be pretty impossible for me to compare to Momota-chan, so I won't bother trying, don't worry.
[He was hoping you wouldn't bring him up too. You're ruining all of his hopes and dreams here, Shuichi. Every time he has one for this conversation, you dash it!]
The escort thing was a lie~ I don't even know where to get one here! Well, that's a lie too, I know a few establishments. Maybe we can find a host club to visit instead~
[Shuichi is silent for a few moments, just staring at Kokichi with a look of concern.]
You're you and Momota-kun is Momota-kun. It's not that you can't compare to him, rather the bond I have with him and the one I have with you are two completely different things.
[I'm sorry, were you trying to keep this conversation light and silly? Guess that's yet another hope and/or dream dashed because Shuichi has more serious intentions in mind.]
I wouldn't want you to try and be Momota-kun instead of being yourself.
[Kokichi, in turn, is quiet following that, smile falling just a little. But it's only a moment that this lasts before he laughs again.]
You make it surprisingly difficult to keep a light mood going, did you know that? [His tone is still light and cheery, not really matching what he's saying at all.]
Self-depreciation is a classic way to lift the mood between two people who are merely friends~ It lets you either commiserate with the person making the comment, or agree with the joke and everyone has a good laugh. I don't think you're supposed to try and correct it like that, Saihara-chan!
[Come on now, just let it slide. That's how it works.]
I wouldn't want to be him anyway, but since you've decided to turn this in a more serious direction instead, you at least have to agree that you'll always be closer with him, right? Because he's got charisma and a magnetic personality, but I'm just tiring and annoying~ That's what I was getting at. In that way, we are comparable, don't you think?
[Nope. Not letting it slide. You're talking to a nobleman of self-depreciation, Kokichi. He knows that line right there is a load of crap.]
Yes, Momota-kun will always be my best friend, no matter what. But that doesn't mean you and I can't become just as close. Especially since...one of you is here, and the other one isn't. [And you can't become closer to someone who isn't here. Kaito will always be his best friend and hold a special place in his heart but...Kokichi has opportunities here and now that Kaito doesn't, and never will, have. There may be a pretty big gap in their closeness levels at the moment, but it doesn't have to stay that way.]
And... [Shuichi pauses and frowns slightly to himself. Does he really want to admit this? It was something he'd decided not to tell Kokichi, back when they spent time together in the days of the student council's reign. And then something he'd stopped thinking completely, after Kokichi had gone off the deep end. But now that they're friends again...] You can be just as charismatic as Momota-kun, in your own unconventional way. Just like he can be annoying in his own ways. He's my best friend, and I think highly of him, but... do you really think it's easy for someone like me to keep up with him? You're both tiring, but...it's not a bad thing. At least, I don't think it is.
Just as...? [There's a quiet, hopeful tone to his voice as he repeats those two words, probably belaying how he's felt about the two of them this whole time, or confirming what his previous statement implied. The fact that he felt he and Shuichi would probably never get terribly close.
But the detective just implied - no, outright stated - that he could be a best friend too. That he could grow just as close to him as Kaito...and then Shuichi continues, telling him that he thinks he's charismatic too, in his own way! The leader has to glance away, stare at the oh so interesting floor, while he tries to find a way to change the conversation. Or at least steer it away from himself.]
W-well...honestly, I can't see you keeping up with a plastic bag being blown around in the wind, Saihara-chan~ So it's not like I doubted he could be annoying and tiring, or anything!
[Yup, there it is. Confirmation of his suspicions. That wasn't just self-depreciation, Kokichi was genuinely concerned that the two of them could never be close friends. It's weird...he's never really been 100% sure how Kokichi regarded him. Even before shit hit the fan, when Shuichi considered him to be a friend, he couldn't be sure if the leader felt the same way.]
[Maybe he's reading too much into it, but it almost seems like...Kokichi valued their friendship more than he did.]
[It's weird though... Even though Shuichi accepted his apology and has been doing what he can to try and repair their friendship, it's like something's been holding the other boy back the whole time. Like, for once, Kokichi doesn't fully believe Shuichi. And he's not really sure why that is.]
[He smiles softly in confirmation, hoping that this time Kokichi actually believes it. Because he really can't put it much more plainly than this.]
A-ah... [He can't even offer a rebuttal to that comment, honestly. It's a fair assessment, even Shuichi has to admit it.] Well, as long as you understand...you just made it sound like I can't see anything negative about him or see anything positive about you. And that's not the case at all.
[He most certainly always thought of Shuichi as his friend, even when it seemed like he didn't. And he valued that friendship a great deal. He still does, despite how careful and cautious he's being about it. It likely means more to him than Shuichi will probably ever know...
It's not really that he doesn't believe the detective though, but more that...he's scared of making a mistake. Out of everyone who hated him by the end of his time in the killing game, it was Shuichi who drew a clear, crisp line between himself and the leader. They were all obvious in how much they didn't like him, but none of the others made it quite as obvious that he'd ruined his chances of being even part of their group and that there'd be no going back like he did.
So now it's hard...despite the fact that Shuichi accepted his apology and obviously doesn't hate him anymore, it's hard to fully trust that just yet. Even now, when it's stated so plainly...there's a part of him that finds it hard to accept that as fact still.
Which is why he smiles and laughs it off again.]
That's true, it does sound like that doesn't it? I guess it's not very fair of me to assume things like that. But it's pretty easy to think that way for me, you know? I'm a liar, after all~ Even when people around me do and say worse things, opinions of me still tend to be lower. And then you have- [Kokichi stops and goes quiet, brows furrowing a little as he gives what he was about to say a little more thought. And then he shakes his head.]
Ah, no, I shouldn't say that. I've already said enough, and it doesn't really matter anyway, right? I just shouldn't assume things like that. So I'm sorry I did, Saihara-chan~
[While it's said with a sort of carefree tone of voice, he does still give him a slight bow in apology.]
[Look...he was really mad when he said that, okay? Mad and sad and Kokichi just kept pushing all the right buttons with his dumb evil schtick. He snapped, it happens to the best of us. And, well, honestly he has no idea just how much that comment impacted the other boy. He hasn't thought back on it retrospectively, knowing what he knows now, so it's kind of like he forgot he ever said it. Oops.]
[Shuichi's brows raise slightly in curiosity. Then you have...what? It's weird for Kokichi not say what's on his mind. Maybe he's witnessing some character growth here. Maybe Kokichi really is trying to change, just a little bit.]
It's fine. Though, while we're still kind of on the subject of things that are tiring... [He glances over at the blank dry erase board.] What happened to your bed?
Kokichi glances over at the board as well, with a sort of questioning hum.]
Oh! I sold it~ [Said as...cheerily as ever.] I've just been sleeping on the couch anyway, and there wouldn't be a whole lot of room for the dry erase board in here with the bed in here too. So I found some creepy dude who was excited that I'd slept in it and sold it to him. Didn't pay a whole lot, but it was still something.
I...see. [It's...really kind of disturbing to hear Kokichi say something like that so casually. Shuichi isn't stupid, he knows what the unspoken implication there is. Just what sort of people has Kokichi been getting mixed up with?] Is...there a reason why you've been sleeping on the couch instead?
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diffidentive) wrote2017-11-13 11:58 am
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[Where in the world did his bed go? And what is that board? At least this retroactively answers the question he never asked about the pillows and blankets on Kokichi's couch last time. He didn't have a friend over, Kokichi himself was sleeping on the couch...for some reason.]
[What a weirdo.]
It's fine... [Though didn't he technically have a few hours to tidy up while he was waiting on a response? What the heck was he doing this whole time?]
[But alright. Sitting down on the couch.]
So...what did you want to talk about?
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I. Well. [He holds his breath for a few beats and then lets it out in a little laugh.] Aha...I didn't have enough time to think what I wanted to say through all the way! Maybe I should have waited.
[Lifting a hand, the leader rubs at his eyes a little before bringing it up to remove the communicator cuff from his ear and pocket it. And then he straightens up some, followed by a bow. It's nothing like last time - first of all he's sitting down, so a little different, and second of all it's not nearly as deep either. Though it is still clearly very apologetic in nature.]
Last night...due to some unfortunate glitches in the stations system, I found myself in one of Akamatsu-chan's fantasies. I think that maybe I was having a fantasy of my own and...they mixed, or something? Haha, it was super weird. But...I wanted to apologize for that, because I ended up sleeping with her.
[It's not as collected as his last apology at all, Kokichi having a hard time actually putting his thoughts properly into words...but he's speaking slowly and carefully, as though he's aware of this and trying to correct for it. It's also pretty clear just how nervous he is as well, fumbling somewhat with his explanation that follows.]
I'm...sorry that I did that. That I couldn't....help myself? Stop myself? Ah...I should have been more aware of what I was doing. But because I wasn't, I managed to take her...ah...to sleep with her. Before you had a chance to do so. I. I'm sorry Saihara-chan.
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...ah. So it was you, after all. [Shuichi looks...surprisingly okay for a guy who just got the news that his only friend slept with his girlfriend. Actually, he almost seems vaguely relieved to hear Kokichi say all this?] I appreciate your honesty and your apology, but uh...you can relax, I'm not mad or anything.
[A beat.]
Well...not mad at you or Akamatsu-san, at least. Neither of you had any control over the situation, so it wasn't your fault. [He is, however, a little angry with whoever is in charge of the winter display up in the dome. Which was a part of the reason he wanted to go up there and investigate. Maybe he could lodge a complaint with management.] This malfunction or glitch or whatever it is really messes with your head. I know neither of you would have done this if your sense of reality hadn't been so warped.
[Kinda sounds like he's speaking from first hand experience here, rather than parroting assurances given to him by Kaede.]
So...don't beat yourself up over it, alright? As long as it doesn't happen in reality, there's no problem.
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It may have just been a fantasy, but it still filled a square so it still counted, right? I still stole your first time with her from you...are you seriously not mad over that?
[He sounds incredulous, almost offended but more on Shuichi's behalf. Don't get him wrong, he doesn't want Shuichi to be mad and hate him like he's been scared of this whole time, but...]
Saihara-chan, you aren't going to tell that to every guy who fantasy fucks her, right? Not saying it will definitely happen again, but what if it does? With this glitching, it could...I mean, I don't want you to be mad, but...
[He's worried about you, bro. You need to stand up for yourself? What the fuck Shuichi.]
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I'm really not mad. Because your entire assumption there is wrong. You didn't steal anything from me.
[You're like...a month late there, buddy. He was definitely Kaede's first. And in reality, not a fantasy.]
Plus...neither Akamatsu-san nor I really care about filling squares. [They're playing the game, but by their own set of rules. So...they're also kind of not playing the game, technically.] And even if we did, arousal is all it takes for something to "count" as far as this game is concerned, you know? The two of you weren't even in the same room, and you never touched each other.
[Didn't you know that, Kokichi? You don't actually HAVE have sex, so long as it's kinky. The two are apparently not mutually exclusive.]
So, no, I don't think it counts. Not in any way that really matters, anyway. Essentially all the two of you did was share a particularly vivid joint fantasy that you both found arousing.
[Does that sound like sex to you, Kokichi? Because it doesn't to him.]
1/2
He couldn't hide the affect that "you only have to be aroused for it to count" has on him even if he tried. Even if he was more awake, and wasn't in the middle of apologizing for something he viewed as a grave mistake. The rest of the color in his face drains as there's a sharp, unpleasant twist in his stomach and his expression darkens some. Not with anger, but with something that looks a little more like pain, or like he's going to be sick.
He very, very clearly didn't know that. And equally as clearly wishes he had. He looks away from Shuichi, offering him a sort of non-committal sound at first and a nod before commenting.]
Guess that makes sense, yeah...guess. I was worried for nothing, then. [Nice. Great. How fun.] Thank you for being so understanding, Saihara-chan...I'm really relieved.
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Okay so wait~ You're saying you actually did it with her then? I'm pretty sure that's what you're saying here!
[Let's...let's change the topic. Let's focus on this, on teasing him instead.]
You know, I didn't think you'd be brave enough without at least a couple months of cuddling and kissing under your belt~ I'm so proud of you!
1/2
[I'm betting neither of you got "excited" over cuddling, and that's probably a requirement, right?]
[Why hadn't he fully tested that assumption? Shuichi and Kaede's failure to fill the cuddling square their first night here had proved that arousal needed to be involved, but...had Kokichi really just stopped there? Did he really not test it further? Had he really not attempted to figure out the finer intricacies of the game he'd been so eager to play?]
[Apparently not, because that look says all too clearly that he did something he regrets. Something that he wouldn't have done, had he known about that particular stipulation. Something pretty bad, judging by how ashen Kokichi's face has become.]
[It seems like every time the two of them talk, Kokichi just gives Shuichi at least one new reason to worry about him. Though this meeting is by far the most concerning yet. The boy is an absolute mess and Shuichi can only speculate on the reasons why and how he's come to be in this state.]
[For a brief moment, Shuichi hopes that maybe, just maybe, Kokichi will finally take him up on his offer to talk. That maybe Shuichi will finally have some idea of what's really bothering him...]
[But, of course, he doesn't. Despite the all-too-obvious concern in Shuichi's voice, Kokichi just puts his smiling mask back in place and shifts the conversation away from himself. Of course he does. Why have a serious conversation about feelings when you can make fun of the wimpy detective?]
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Yes, we did.
[Maybe if he just...goes along with the teasing, he can try and steer the conversation back towards Kokichi and whatever problems he's clearly having. Maybe. Hopefully.]
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[He's obviously joking, but the color doesn't return to his face and there's just only a little bit of humor in his voice, but he's trying...]
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N-no, I don't think that's right...
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[100% factual sources that are in no way merely gossip or fiction books.]
"Bros" are supposed to text one another immediately when they finally lose their virginity, so that their bro can congratulate them that night and plan a party for the near future to celebrate it. Usually by going out with their other bros!
[Drinking, dancing, going to strip clubs...that sort of thing!]
Of course I've never had a bro before, so I guess I don't really know what that's like, but if I did I'd totally want a party. Which is why I'm sad you didn't text me! Though I can still throw you one~
[The more he ridiculous he makes this conversation, the more tired the detective will get with it, and then he will want to leave. That's the goal here.]
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[His worry outweighs his exasperation, sorry Kokichi.]
Okay, wait...I'm confused now. Are you disappointed that I didn't throw you a party or that you didn't get the chance to throw me one? [He thought it was the latter but now he's not so sure. Since Apparently...Kokichi was sad that Shuichi didn't text him because HE wants a party? Oh my god he's even harder to keep up with when he's sleep deprived how is this even possible.] Also, when did we become "bros"? I feel like I missed something there...
[That is...not the word he would use to describe his friendship with Kokichi. At all.]
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Aha, both! Then again, I guess it would have been impossible to have a party thrown for me, seeing as we weren't really friends when I lost my virginity.
[From his perspective, anyway. Suddenly he leans forward, only a tiny bit of a wobble as he does so, and puts as much energy as he can muster into an excited reaction.]
And we're not, but that's what I mean! Wouldn't it be cool if we were? Though it's not like you have a bro either, right? So you're missing out on the party! I'd even be willing to keep it low energy and low key for you, since I know you're definitely not the go out and drink type of guy. Maybe just order us a couple escorts for the night and we can stay in instead!
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[You know, Kaito? Purple hair? Wears house slippers all the time? Has a dumb little goatee? Even if he's not here right now, he's still Shuichi's bro. Their brotherly bond transcends universes and also life and death.]
But even if he was, I still wouldn't share what Akamatsu-san and I did, and I wouldn't want a party like that. It just seems a little...disrespectful.
[To Kaede, presumably. Apparently, for as tight a bond as he and Kaito share, Shuichi does not acknowledge the "bros before hoes" clause of the bro code.]
But if you really want a part of your own, then...I guess we could go do something for that. Nothing involving escorts, though.
[He's pretty sure that was supposed to be a joke, but still.]
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[He sits back up, yawning a long moment before continuing. Sorry...he's tired.]
You're celebrating becoming a man! Or...something. Also not here means you don't have a bro, y'know? But I guess it'd be pretty impossible for me to compare to Momota-chan, so I won't bother trying, don't worry.
[He was hoping you wouldn't bring him up too. You're ruining all of his hopes and dreams here, Shuichi. Every time he has one for this conversation, you dash it!]
The escort thing was a lie~ I don't even know where to get one here! Well, that's a lie too, I know a few establishments. Maybe we can find a host club to visit instead~
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You're you and Momota-kun is Momota-kun. It's not that you can't compare to him, rather the bond I have with him and the one I have with you are two completely different things.
[I'm sorry, were you trying to keep this conversation light and silly? Guess that's yet another hope and/or dream dashed because Shuichi has more serious intentions in mind.]
I wouldn't want you to try and be Momota-kun instead of being yourself.
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You make it surprisingly difficult to keep a light mood going, did you know that? [His tone is still light and cheery, not really matching what he's saying at all.]
Self-depreciation is a classic way to lift the mood between two people who are merely friends~ It lets you either commiserate with the person making the comment, or agree with the joke and everyone has a good laugh. I don't think you're supposed to try and correct it like that, Saihara-chan!
[Come on now, just let it slide. That's how it works.]
I wouldn't want to be him anyway, but since you've decided to turn this in a more serious direction instead, you at least have to agree that you'll always be closer with him, right? Because he's got charisma and a magnetic personality, but I'm just tiring and annoying~ That's what I was getting at. In that way, we are comparable, don't you think?
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[Nope. Not letting it slide. You're talking to a nobleman of self-depreciation, Kokichi. He knows that line right there is a load of crap.]
Yes, Momota-kun will always be my best friend, no matter what. But that doesn't mean you and I can't become just as close. Especially since...one of you is here, and the other one isn't. [And you can't become closer to someone who isn't here. Kaito will always be his best friend and hold a special place in his heart but...Kokichi has opportunities here and now that Kaito doesn't, and never will, have. There may be a pretty big gap in their closeness levels at the moment, but it doesn't have to stay that way.]
And... [Shuichi pauses and frowns slightly to himself. Does he really want to admit this? It was something he'd decided not to tell Kokichi, back when they spent time together in the days of the student council's reign. And then something he'd stopped thinking completely, after Kokichi had gone off the deep end. But now that they're friends again...] You can be just as charismatic as Momota-kun, in your own unconventional way. Just like he can be annoying in his own ways. He's my best friend, and I think highly of him, but... do you really think it's easy for someone like me to keep up with him? You're both tiring, but...it's not a bad thing. At least, I don't think it is.
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But the detective just implied - no, outright stated - that he could be a best friend too. That he could grow just as close to him as Kaito...and then Shuichi continues, telling him that he thinks he's charismatic too, in his own way! The leader has to glance away, stare at the oh so interesting floor, while he tries to find a way to change the conversation. Or at least steer it away from himself.]
W-well...honestly, I can't see you keeping up with a plastic bag being blown around in the wind, Saihara-chan~ So it's not like I doubted he could be annoying and tiring, or anything!
[He's just moreso, that's all.]
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[Maybe he's reading too much into it, but it almost seems like...Kokichi valued their friendship more than he did.]
[It's weird though... Even though Shuichi accepted his apology and has been doing what he can to try and repair their friendship, it's like something's been holding the other boy back the whole time. Like, for once, Kokichi doesn't fully believe Shuichi. And he's not really sure why that is.]
[He smiles softly in confirmation, hoping that this time Kokichi actually believes it. Because he really can't put it much more plainly than this.]
A-ah... [He can't even offer a rebuttal to that comment, honestly. It's a fair assessment, even Shuichi has to admit it.] Well, as long as you understand...you just made it sound like I can't see anything negative about him or see anything positive about you. And that's not the case at all.
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It's not really that he doesn't believe the detective though, but more that...he's scared of making a mistake. Out of everyone who hated him by the end of his time in the killing game, it was Shuichi who drew a clear, crisp line between himself and the leader. They were all obvious in how much they didn't like him, but none of the others made it quite as obvious that he'd ruined his chances of being even part of their group and that there'd be no going back like he did.
So now it's hard...despite the fact that Shuichi accepted his apology and obviously doesn't hate him anymore, it's hard to fully trust that just yet. Even now, when it's stated so plainly...there's a part of him that finds it hard to accept that as fact still.
Which is why he smiles and laughs it off again.]
That's true, it does sound like that doesn't it? I guess it's not very fair of me to assume things like that. But it's pretty easy to think that way for me, you know? I'm a liar, after all~ Even when people around me do and say worse things, opinions of me still tend to be lower. And then you have- [Kokichi stops and goes quiet, brows furrowing a little as he gives what he was about to say a little more thought. And then he shakes his head.]
Ah, no, I shouldn't say that. I've already said enough, and it doesn't really matter anyway, right? I just shouldn't assume things like that. So I'm sorry I did, Saihara-chan~
[While it's said with a sort of carefree tone of voice, he does still give him a slight bow in apology.]
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[Shuichi's brows raise slightly in curiosity. Then you have...what? It's weird for Kokichi not say what's on his mind. Maybe he's witnessing some character growth here. Maybe Kokichi really is trying to change, just a little bit.]
It's fine. Though, while we're still kind of on the subject of things that are tiring... [He glances over at the blank dry erase board.] What happened to your bed?
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Kokichi glances over at the board as well, with a sort of questioning hum.]
Oh! I sold it~ [Said as...cheerily as ever.] I've just been sleeping on the couch anyway, and there wouldn't be a whole lot of room for the dry erase board in here with the bed in here too. So I found some creepy dude who was excited that I'd slept in it and sold it to him. Didn't pay a whole lot, but it was still something.
[And then he looks back to Shuichi, grinning.]
Too bad for him I never even laid down in it~
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