diffidentive

[Of course he can pick locks here too, of course. Except, no, he can't. It honestly hadn't taken Shuichi long to see through that particular lie. Perhaps if Kokichi hadn't messed with the virtual reality projections on his walls every time he snuck in with breakfast, it would have taken him a little longer, but...he's pretty sure the truth is that Kokichi gave himself room access. He knew the other boy had messed with his communicator the first time they went to the public baths together, clearly he hadn't JUST been sneaking a peek at his bingo card as he'd claimed.]

[A normal person probably would have revoked access once they'd figured that out, but...well, it's Shuichi. Yes, it's really dangerous to let someone like Kokichi Oma have free access to your room, and he DEFINITELY wouldn't have given it to him if he'd asked, but...if he took it away now, the leader would surely just try and steal his watch again. Or, worse yet, he'd REALLY learn how to pick electronic locks, and that's just not something Shuichi can let happen in good conscience. Nobody needs that.]

[So he'd made the ill-advised decision not to do anything about it and just tried his best not to give Kokichi a reason to leave any particularly mean-spirited surprises in his room.]

[But that's neither here nor there, at the moment, since Shuichi has no idea that he's no longer alone in his room. He doesn't hear little bare feet creeping across his room, nor does he feel a slight weight on the mattress as the intruder slips into bed with him and under his covers. Even as Kokichi watches him, he slumbers on, peacefully and without a care in the world.]

[They really should consider getting Shuichi an alarm system or something. Somebody could break in and murder him and that would be that.]

M-mnn...

[At least he does seem to be vaguely aware that somebody is touching him. Maybe even that someone is whispering, who can say. He frowns slightly as Kokichi's fingers grip his shirt, and for the briefest moment it looks like he might wake up.]

[But he doesn't. He gives a sleepy little whine and rolls over onto his side and kind of lazily throws his arm over the smaller body next to him and pulls him a little closer with a content sigh.]

[Kokichi was 100% correct.]

[Kaede DOES sneak into bed with him.]

[A lot.]

[So much so, that it's gotten to a point where Shuichi's muscles will just kind of unconsciously react while he snoozes on. Kind of like how some people will turn an alarm clock off without waking up. He's just used to it by now. Even the size difference goes unnoticed by his unconscious mind. Yup, this is Kaede, alright. Time to snuggle, business as usual, no need to wake up.]

[He absolutely would have learned how to truly pick an electronic lock. Good call, Shuichi.

He holds his breath when it seems like he might wake up, but doesn't let it back out until a few moments after he's been pulled in. When he does let it out, it's with a shudder, matching the soft and upset trembling that's settled into his body. This is nice...it's really nice. It's just Shuichi turning over and laying an arm over him, nothing big, but it's still really nice. It's still him doing that of his on volition, without Kokichi needing to ask. Which...yes, just means that he's probably imagining that Kaede's in bed with him, but...

Then again, it's that fact that also makes this painful. For a few beats his fingers just grip tighter to his shirt before letting go completely, the boy finally wrapping him in as much of an embrace as he can manage. The detective isn't particularly buff, but his arms aren't particularly long either, but it's enough for him. It's enough to just cling to him like this, blinking back more tears as his heart aches over the whole situation. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he should have stayed in bed and just dealt with it there. Then again, he hasn't been making good choices or coming up with good ideas since he got to the station, so maybe he deserves this...]

[To be fair, he's not really imagining anything. He's just...kind of under the impression that it's Kaede because that's always who it is.]

[Except this time, it's not. Which is going to be a bit of a surprise once Shuichi finally wakes up. Though that's probably several hours from now, judging by the way he quickly falls back into his peaceful, sleeping breathing from earlier.]

[Making the "good choice" and leaving may be a little easier said than done, however. While he's certainly no Takoma-chan, once Kokichi wraps his arms around him, Shuichi's grip tightens just enough to make escaping without waking him highly improbable. Heavy sleeper he may be, but there's no way he won't feel an escape attempt.]

[If Kokichi really wants to go back to his room, he's going to have to hope Shuichi lets him go and rolls back over onto his back at some point.]

[He does want to...but he doesn't. He wants to retreat, go back and suffer alone, stop being a burden on Shuichi who probably won't be happy with him for just sneaking in and whom he probably makes uncomfortable with his cuddling requests normally, even if they are for a good reason (most of the time)...he wants to leave so it stops hurting so much.

But he also wants to stay, and enjoy this. Enjoy the way Shuichi's grip tightens just a little more, just enough to make him feel safe and secure, and the way his chest gently rises and falls against him now that makes it even easier to match his own breathing with it, even with all of the hitches in it that come with his tears. How warm it is, how it smells like Shuichi, all of these tiny reminders that he's not alone right now, even if he deserves to be like the detective in his dream continues to reminds him. He'll always be alone but right now, in this moment, he's not and he can pretend that he never will be again. Even if it's a lie.

So he makes another bad decision and presses even closer to his friend rather than try and escape, body as flush against Shuichi's as possible. His hands grip tight at the detectives shoulders in a silent plea for him to stay turned like this and he inhales deeply once he presses his cheek against him again. Ugh...he fits so perfectly like this. Held in his arms, it's really obvious...sure, the same could probably be said about him and anyone who's taller, but it would never come with this same feeling of belonging he's pretty sure.

Which...doesn't that just suck? Oh well. How many couples out there are perfect anyway? It doesn't matter if Shuichi is the only one that can make him feel this way, he'll surely find someone he can just...settle with. Or maybe just stay single forever, there are plenty of people like that too. Forget his romantics heart, he can lie and pretend better than anyone, so pretending one night stands and simple flings are something more will be enough...eventually. Once he can move past his feelings for this detective and get back on the horse...

He needs to stop thinking. Every time he's sure he's done with this stupid crying, when he thinks his heart has stopped feeling like it's being stabbed and has settled into more of a constantly squeezing a bruise feeling, his mind wanders to some other painful subject. What's wrong with him? Squeezing his eyes shut, he takes a deep breath and holds it before letting it out again in time with one of the detectives exhales. And then he tries to match his breathing again. Calm back down...]

[Shuichi's breathing remains calm and steady, so Kokichi shouldn't have to much trouble syncing his own up with it. Though...pressing himself flush against the detective was definitely something of a mistake. While it doesn't wake him up, it does cause Shuichi to sort of curl around the smaller boy with a content sigh as he tucks his head against the top of Kokichi's, nuzzling his hair briefly with his face.]

[Yes, that was definitely a mistake. A good one, Kokichi delighting at being curled around and feeling that head against his own, that nuzzle against his hair, but a mistake none the less. It's only a momentary high, his feelings quickly crashing back down afterward. He's mastered silent crying by now and he's never been more grateful for the tactic. Sure, Shuichi waking up and comforting him and maybe even being enough of a gentleman to wipe his tears away would be nice, but he'd prefer the other boy not see him like this at all. This is killing him, and it's best that nobody sees that in the end.

But it is, at least, still nice to fall asleep in his arms, pretending that this is Shuichi loving the feeling of him tucked so close against him. Technically that's not a lie, right? Just because the detective doesn't know that he isn't his girlfriend...that doesn't change the fact that clearly the other boy is content like this...

He'll convince himself to be content too. Even if that is definitely a lie.

Sorry that you have to wake up with this gremlin in your arms, Shuichi...but he'll be sound asleep by the time the detective starts stirring, whenever that is.]

[I mean...he's not wrong. Shuichi is enjoying this, even though he doesn't know that it isn't his girlfriend curled up against him. He's a simple boy who enjoys simple things, and snuggling definitely falls in that category.]

[So he slumbers on, content and motionless. It's several hours before he finally begins to stir to wakefulness and realize that he's not alone in bed. He smiles to himself, giving a contented little hum as he nuzzles the top of Kaed--]

[Wait. Did Kaede switch shampoos? Her hair smells different.]

[And she's a lot smaller.]

[And there's a distinct lack of boob pressing against him...]

[Shuichi frowns, eyelids finally fluttering open to an eyeful of dark hair. Yeah, definitely not Kaede. But he's pretty sure he knows who it actually is, so no reason to panic just yet...]

O-Oma-kun?

[Can he...maybe pull away? On a scale of limp noodle to baby koala, just how tightly is Kokichi clinging to him now?]

[Unfortunately, it's baby koala. While he may be asleep, his hands stay curled tight in Shuichi's shirt, arms locked around him and refusing to let go. The detective would probably have to wake him up to pull away at this point. His face scrunches up just a little as he feels Shuichi try and move, and he buries it more against his chest in response, cheek nuzzling against him almost contently, or pleadingly. It's both, really.

Don't go?? He's happy like this. It's warm and safe and comforting...]

[Shuichi sighs as it becomes clear that he's not going anywhere until Kokichi wakes up. Alright. Guess he's just...going to lay here and wait for that. Kokichi may be a troublesome gremlin when he's awake, but he looks so peaceful and innocent like this...Shuichi just doesn't have it in him to wake him up. It's not like this is an emergency, he's just not sure what's going on and some answers would be nice.]

[The other boy must have had a nightmare, but if that's the case...where's Kaede? Why wouldn't he wake her up first and then bring her with him? He likes being sandwiched between them, doesn't he? Hmm...]

[That's the question, isn't it? Especially since, before now, he's never invaded Shuichi's bed when he's broken into his cabin. Sure, who knows how long he's ever been there, but it's likely always been long enough that he could have snuggled under his covers too if he wanted.

Luckily Shuichi won't be trapped there for too long. Kokichi is both a light sleeper as well as one that doesn't sleep for long periods of time usually. The detective trying to pull away had sort of kicked him into the slow, slow process of waking up, and it's maybe half an hour later that he seems to stir. He shifts a little with a sleepy sound and a few moments later his eyes crack open. Barely, the boy blinking a few times to start really waking up...the usual morning process with him.

Though this time around, he's much quicker to actually start moving. Usually the most he'll do is allow people to come and go from the bed, maybe reaching for them when they get done with their morning business and are close enough to try and pull them back under the covers, but for the most part he just lazes around while he wakes up.

After only half a minute of the sleepy blinking however, his eyes snap open as he inhales sharply as if waking up from a nightmare. His gaze darts around to take note of his location before settling on Shuichi's face, fingers tightening their grip on his shirt.]

...Saih'ra-ch'n...?

[Half an hour gives him enough time to try and puzzle this all out. It's not like he has anything else to do, may as well try to figure things out on his own, right? Those Super High School Level Detective instincts never sleep.]

[There was nothing stopping him from waking Kaede up. Sure, he can't get into her room, but she's not as heavy of a sleeper as Shuichi is. If he'd knocked on her door loud enough, she would have woken up. And he's fairly sure the leader would have no qualms whatsoever with doing something like that, even if it was the middle of the night and therefore kinda rude to go banging on people's doors.]

[So since Kaede isn't here, Shuichi can only assume that was intentional. Kokichi chose not to wake her up, because...]

[Because...]

[Because she would have asked questions? Yeah...yeah, she would definitely try and make him talk about it, he had gone to her first. He probably didn't want to deal with that, which means...oh.]

[Oh.]

[Sure, Kokichi wouldn't want to talk about any of his nightmares, and he could have always lied his way around Kaede's questions, but...she's an unpredictable force of nature. There's always a slim chance she could have forced him to talk about it somehow. He must have wanted to avoid that at all costs, which means his nightmare must have been something really bad. Something that he wouldn't want Kaede to know, but something he felt safe going to Shuichi about.]

[And there's only one thing Shuichi can think of that fits that description: The Gore Square Encounter.]

[Yeah...that had definitely disturbed Kokichi and messed him up, enough that the memory of it could send him running to a friend for comfort like a frightened child. It might even explain why he's attached himself to the detective like a baby koala, as opposed to just curling up at his side.]

[Yeah...that must be what happened. It's the only theory that makes any sense to Shuichi. And it just makes him all the more determined to wait patiently for Kokichi to wake up on his own.]

A-ah! [...though, when he finally does, he manages to startle Shuichi in the process. He'd been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't realized what Kokichi's shifting meant. He hadn't noticed the leader's eyes start to open, had completely missed the sleepy blinking...it's the sharp inhale that finally gets his attention, jolting him out of his musings.] Um...y-yeah, it's me, Oma-kun.

[There are a few tenses moments more that he continues to stare at him, as if he's expecting him to not actually be real, or he expects Shuichi to do something unpleasant. But soon that tension melts away, eyelids heavy and drooping pretty quickly afterward again as he goes to press his cheek against him once more with a relieved whimper.

Yeah. Definitely a nightmare he doesn't want Kaede asking questions about. Technically one he didn't want Shuichi asking questions about either, but then again here he is. Running to him like a frightened child. He's trembling some, though it's difficult to tell if it's from relief or lingering paranoia and fear.]

[Ah...he had another one, didn't he? He must have, with that kind of reaction. Shuichi shifts a little, bringing his hand up to pat the top of Kokichi's head in what he hopes is a comforting way, rather than a patronizing one.]

[Yeah, his actions are comparable to a child's right now but...Shuichi can't really see Kokichi himself as childish, not over something like this.]

[Though that will definitely change once he bounces back from this and starts acting like his usual, fun-loving self. But being frightened by nightmares and seeking out physical comfort like this, after the things he's been through-- the things they've all been through-- there's nothing childish about that.]

You can go back to sleep, if you want. Sorry if I woke you up...

[It's very comforting, honestly, helping the last of the tension drain out of his muscles completely. He relaxes easily now, even the trembling slowing to a stop as his hands move to find better places to hold onto him by, his body shifting a little so he can curl up more into the other boy. Relying on him like a shelter from a storm.]

...d'dn't wake m'up...

[His voice is very soft when he replies, words a little slurred in his grogginess. For a moment he seems to do as suggested, silent with his eyes closed, breathing gentle and even...but then he speaks up again.]

Is that really okay...? Sleeping a li'l longer like this...?

Mm, it's okay. [It's not like he has anywhere to be today. Or tomorrow. Or any other day in the future, really. Their lives are pretty much all free time here, after all. He didn't have any concrete plans with Kaede today, and she's the only other person Shuichi spends time with, so...] Go back to sleep.

[Just going to go out on a limb here and assume Kokichi probably needs it. Why are your sleeping habits so terrible, Kokichi?]

[That's a good question, but he's definitely correct in his assumption. There's a tired but grateful sigh and a little nod from the smaller boy.]

Thanks...just a li'l longer then...

[He won't keep you in bed all day. Or at least he won't sleep the whole time if he does, anyway. But the idea of a little more sleep is too enticing to pass up, especially when it can be done curled up with the detective like this. Just let him sleep a little bit longer in the comfortable warmth of another person...hope you don't have to pee for another hour or so though, Shuichi. He's definitely back in baby koala mode once he's passed back out...]

[Okay, well...he just woke up so, yes, he actually does have to pee, but...it's fine. This is fine. He can wait until Kokichi wakes back up. He knows he won't sleep the whole day on his own because, again, the leader's sleeping habits are complete shit.]

[So he'll just...patiently wait this nap out. Kind of doze off himself a few times...though never for more than a few minutes...]

[It's true. It's surprising he took the offer to sleep longer, honestly, and an hour later his eyes are fluttering open again. He yawns, lets go of Shuichi to stretch his arms over his head before snaking them back around the detective. He doesn't close his eyes again though, instead glancing up at his friend. So is this one of those minutes where he's dozing or is he awake?]

[It WAS a dozing moment...until Kokichi woke up and started moving. Dozing and sleeping are two very different things, and while he's a heavy sleeper, Shuichi dozes off like any normal person.]

[So by the time Kokichi is glancing up at him, he's rubbing his eyes as best he can with his one truly free hand.]

Good morning, Oma-kun. [Again. For real this time.]

[Aww, oh well. A missed opportunity he will have to make up for some time in the future.

For now, he just admires his face a little, a small and sweet smile finding its way to his mouth at the good morning.]

Morning, Saihara-chan.

[While not as quiet as it was earlier, his tone is still soft when he replies. A little sleepy still, but content and happy.]

Is it my turn to say sorry for waking you up?

[He shakes his head.]

I never really fell back asleep, so...it's okay.

[He attempts to gently nudge the smaller boy into letting him go. Come on...stop being a koala for just a few minutes so he can go pee.]

Can you let me up for a minute, though?

[There's a little hesitation at first, almost as if he's about to be his usual stubborn self about letting them just get up and leave first thing after he wakes up, but Kokichi relents fairly easily after that small pause. He grips the blanket a little instead, keeping his eyes on the detective.]

Sure.

[He's trusting you to come back, so you better!!]

Thanks.

[Knowing full well what that pause and that look mean, Shuichi does his best not to keep the other boy waiting. He just slides out of bed and disappears into the bathroom for a few minutes to pee, wash his hands and face, and brush his teeth as long as here's there. May as well.]

[And then, sure enough, he comes right back. Kokichi's trust was well placed, as usual. Because when does Shuichi NOT come right back in instances like these? Never, that's when.]

[Ugh. This is why you're such a good friend, Shuichi.

Kokichi's eyes light up when the detective exits the bathroom once more and, continuing the trend of doing childish things, both of his hands peek out from under the blanket. They're reaching for Shuichi, fingers curling and uncurling in a grabbing manner. Come back to bed!! Curl up under the blankets with him again!]

[Yup, there it is. Kokichi's inner child making an appearance, exactly as Shuichi expected.]

[Okay, NOW he thinks you're kind of childish, friend. Grabby hands? Really? How old are you?]

[Shuichi sighs and shakes his head,slipping back under the blankets but not actually laying down. Instead, he sits down, resting his back against the headboard.]

Feeling better already?

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